Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Since the early
2000s
Add a comma
2000s,
show examples
the popularity of the newly invented social
media
started to grow
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a rapidly accelerating pace. The first to become mainstream was Facebook but other platforms
such
as Instagram and Twitter soon followed and with them, the concerns of people who were afraid of what negative effects these
media
could have on individuals and society as a whole. On one hand, social
media
were originally created with the aim
to connect
Change preposition
of connecting
show examples
people regardless of the physical distance between them and
this
was definitely
accoplished
Correct your spelling
accomplished
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
the exposure to culture and information from all over the globe that these platforms are able to provide us with, should not be underestimated.
On the other hand
, social
media
have evolved and their purpose
also
changed over time. If they used to be a tool to connect people, now their aim is mostly divisive, they implemented algorithms to maximise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
screen time
hence
the revenue by tricking your brain into a state of addiction achieved by inducing the release of specific neurotransmitters.
Moreover
, modern social
media
like Instagram, where the individual has the tendency to post only his best pictures/experiences, can cause a false sense of reality and
self comparisons
Add a hyphen
self-comparisons
show examples
that have been proven to be dangerous for the mental health of numerous users.
Finally
, social
media
like most phenomena are not inherently positive or negative, the approach the user has towards them is ultimately what really makes the difference.
However
, even though these
platform
Change the determiner
platforms
show examples
have a huge potential, they are evolving into refined machines for mass control and
for
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
an increasing amount of care should be taken as we make use of them.
Submitted by mtmongillo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: