The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period

The line graph gives information about, the amount of questions

arrived

Verb problem

received

show examples

by the Tourist Information Office in a city from

January

June

in 2011.

Overall

, there are three methods to

recive

Correct your spelling

receive

questions from tourists( in

persone

Correct your spelling

person

- by letter/email or by phone). the most popular method was in person, and it

show

Wrong verb form

showed

show examples

a quick rise in six months.

In contrast

Correct article usage

the letter

show examples

letter

Fix the agreement mistake

letters

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

emails

show examples

was go

Change the verb form

went

show examples

down.

On the other hand

, telephone

enquire

Replace the word

inquiries

show examples

fluctuated before rising

at the end

of the period. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

enquiries in person, between

January

and March, the line graph shows

Correct article usage

an increased

show examples

increased

Replace the word

increase

show examples

from less than 500 to 800 enquiries,

then

jumbed

Correct your spelling

jumped

to around 1300 till

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

the highest at around 1900 in

June

In contrast

, enquiries by letter/email,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

started

under

Change preposition

at under

show examples

800

then

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

decreased slightly between

January

and March before

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

to less

400

Change preposition

than 400

show examples

enquire in May,

then

staple to

June

at the same figure.

Finally

, inquiries by telephone, it was fluctuated from

January

to March,

then

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

staple at 1000 to April, before

jumbed

Correct your spelling

jumping

to 1400 in May and

keep increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

slightly to 1600 by

June

Submitted by halah.z.alamri on Mon Oct 09 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words january, june with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

181 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enquiries
Tourist Information Office
in person
by letter/email
by telephone
general trend
six-month period
significant increase
steady rise
decline
peak
fluctuations
monthly data
comparison

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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians should be responsible for this task. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

In many countries, people now living longer than before some people say that the aging population creates several problems for the government while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people