IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fewer young people do farming in rural areas. Why? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?

In villages, farming is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 less common choice of employment among youngsters.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because of the hardship that
farmers
Use synonyms
 usually face and
opportunities
Correct article usage
the opportunities
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 to get better jobs.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 young
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to do farming as it is a vital part of every country. The most obvious reason why the young generation does not want to do farming is that it is not worth it. The money that
farmers
Use synonyms
 earn is only enough for basic human needs
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they usually have to do unpleasant and difficult work
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as cleaning the waste of domestic animals like cows, horses and others
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 even earn that money. Another cause is
nowadays
Correct word choice
that nowadays
show examples
 employment choices are more than ever before
thanks
Punctuation problem
, thanks
show examples
 to technology and online learning. Nearly all young
people
Use synonyms
 have millions of online materials on their hands that teach them how to be professional at almost any job. That’s why young
people
Use synonyms
 now don’t choose farming
while
Linking Words
 they have opportunities to learn and have better jobs. There are a number of ways to motivate young
people
Use synonyms
 to do farming. The government could give perks to
farmers
Use synonyms
. The government may be able to give
farmers
Use synonyms
 huge crop fields for several years for free until they’re financially stable or supply them with the necessary technologies that they need.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government should come up with initiatives to teach youngsters how to be successful
farmers
Use synonyms
 by creating educational and practical campaigns. If young
people
Use synonyms
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 the importance of farming and make sure that they can be successful with
this
Linking Words
 job, they will eventually want to do farming.
For example
Linking Words
, I have an uncle who wasn’t interested in farming at all till he was forced to learn it from a famous farmer. After learning everything about farming, he is now a very well-known farmer in our town. In conclusion, financial and physical problems and opportunities for better careers lead to the unpopularity of being a farmer among the young generation. Only when governments are able to support
farmers
Use synonyms
 and give them
helping
Correct article usage
a helping
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hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 will
this
Linking Words
 situation be remedied.

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structure
Plan your answer. Say what you will say, then say it, and end with a short wrap up.
content
Give more clear facts and examples for the two views to show full talk.
cohesion
Use links like also, but, for example to help ideas fit together.
structure
Idea is clear and there is a plan.
content
A real life example is used.
content
The essay has an ending that tries to fix the problem.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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