the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.
The given graph provides
analysis
Correct article usage
an analysis
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
people's
coffee
and tea
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
percentages in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart during 4 weeks.
Overall
, it can be seen that the proportion of customers who went to a cafe for tea or
coffee
has maintained their rule
while
the
percentage
of fresh
coffee
lovers showing some decrease over the period in question. Looking at the details, in four cities, visiting cafe for a tea or
coffee
was the
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
and the
percentage
also
has not reduced by more than 50%. But in Adelaide, the situation has changed completely
while
the
percentage
of instant
coffee
consumers has increased somewhat.
Further
, the fresh
coffee
customers'
percentage
has always
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
a
low
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
rate during the given period than other
coffee
consumer rates and it had the lowest
percentage
not higher than the other two.
Moreover
, the
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
of people who choose instant
coffee
has remained stable between 40% and 55%
Submitted by teenadissanayake906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: