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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habit #five #australian #cities
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The given graph provides
analysis
Correct article usage
an analysis
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 percentages in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart during 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the proportion of customers who went to a cafe for tea or
coffee
Use synonyms
 has maintained their rule
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 lovers showing some decrease over the period in question. Looking at the details, in four cities, visiting cafe for a tea or
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
 and the
percentage
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has not reduced by more than 50%. But in Adelaide, the situation has changed completely
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumers has increased somewhat.
Further
Linking Words
, the fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 customers'
percentage
Use synonyms
 has always
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a
low
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 rate during the given period than other
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumer rates and it had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 not higher than the other two.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 of people who choose instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 has remained stable between 40% and 55%
Submitted by teenadissanayake906 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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