IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some say you should always marry for love; other say that in an uncertain world it wiser to marry for money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #love #world #money
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Finding
a
Remove the article
apply
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real
love
Use synonyms
 is one of the things people
are dreaming
Wrong verb form
dream
show examples
 about,
however
Linking Words
, in an uncertain
world
Add a comma
world,
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 some argue that it is wiser to get married for
money
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
money
Use synonyms
 can't buy happiness and marriage should be created out of
love
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 develop both opinions. It is true, that coping with different economic problems that may arise in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world filled with instability, is easier
together with
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 a partner.
Furthermore
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, I do understand that with
money
Use synonyms
 comes
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of security and economic stability
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by higher social status when marrying purely out of
money
Use synonyms
. I do,
however
Linking Words
, strongly believe that it is not that easy to build trust or
deep
Correct article usage
a deep
show examples
 and healthy relationship with a partner
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since all a person cares about is
money
Use synonyms
. The one in a marriage with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 income can be seen and valued purely based on his achievements.
This
Linking Words
 can create
tention
Correct your spelling
tension
 and develop reasons to argue, which eventually lead to divorces.
Although
Linking Words
 finding a romantic partner with whom to create a family is, indeed, very difficult, it can result in
happy
Add an article
a happy
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 and long-lasting relationship. When people
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
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 in
love
Use synonyms
, they learn to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other on a deeper level and
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of partners share
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 values and goals for life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the
marriage
Add a comma
marriage,
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there's
Wrong verb form
there are
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 fewer
misundertandings
Correct your spelling
misunderstandings
 and arguments, which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in happier families. When it comes to
money
Use synonyms
, at times it can be financially hard, but
having
Change preposition
by having
show examples
 common goals, both working partners can deal with problems together and deepen their trust and respect for each other, when overcoming all the hardships they may face.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some people choose
marrying
Change the verb form
to marry
show examples
 purely for
money
Use synonyms
, which may create
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of security, I do not believe
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of marriages
last
Linking Words
 for long. Finding someone with similar values in life and creating a family out of
love
Use synonyms
 results in happiness and long-lasting relationships.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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