New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
Technological advancements have become increasingly popular over few decades. Some children are still playing in the park.
However
, some are changing to spend on advanced technological products. This
essay reveals the demerits outweigh the merits if young teenagers spend their leisure time with new technological devices.
To begin
with, it is a lack of outdoor activities to causes health problems if students
are overusing the new "toys". Children can train their muscles to strengthen the
body by running and jumping in the park. If teenagers seldom run outside, their bodies cannot keep fit which affects their growth. Change the word
their
For example
, according to
university studies, pupils with obesity, who do not go to the park regularly, are commonly found in primary school. If so, students
are not willing to exercise in their leisure moments and make their health worse. The phoneme negatively impacts their young stage.
On the other hand
, new technologies can help students
to have better exposure when they would like to have a deeper understanding of particular topics. Almost all electronic devices accessing the Internet are generic and students
are able to search on the browser to seek dedicated knowledge. For example
, young students
search the detailed information on the Great Wall in Beijing such
as who built it and how long the Walls when they plan to visit the prominent building. The students
can recognise more easily when they visit.
To sum up
, new products are not only bringing a lot of health issues but also
helping students
to have better learning. By common sense, the disadvantages of using new technological products outweigh the advantages.Submitted by ieltswriter
on
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Task Achievement
Develop a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question. Make sure the introduction clearly presents the main argument of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas are logically organized.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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