IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people say the cars should be banned from the centers of cities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Someone has rightly said
that
Correct word choice
apply
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- “The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete". The increased use of
cars
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 has created many problems.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
cars
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 should not be allowed in
city
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 centres. A number of arguments surround my opinion. The most important reason is pollution from car exhausts, which damages
people
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's health causing respiratory diseases
such
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 as asthma and bronchitis. At the same time,
traffic
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 fumes attack the stonework of historic monuments and buildings,
while
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 the vibrations from passing vehicles damage their foundations.
This
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,
for instance
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, has happened to the Taj Mahal in Agra because of which private vehicles are not allowed in the vicinity of the Taj. A second reason why l am in favour of
cars
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 being banned is in order to reduce the noise pollution from
traffic
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, which forces
people
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 to keep their windows permanently closed and may cause psychological problems including stress and depression among
people
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 living in busy streets. A
further
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 reason is that most cities were not designed for motor
traffic
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. A good example of
this
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 is the old part of Ludhiana
city
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 in Punjab, which has narrow streets and few facilities for parking.
As a result
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,
traffic
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 moves at a snail's pace and there are frequent
traffic
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 jams. Beautiful buildings are spoilt by always having
cars
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 parked in front of them and pretty streets become unpleasant
due to
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 permanent
traffic
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 congestion and exhaust fumes.
Finally
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, I am sure that if
cars
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 were banned,
people
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 would find other more pleasant ways to move around cities.
For example
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, they would walk or use bicycles as these would once more become safe and enjoyable activities within the
city
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.
This
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 in turn would bring about a general improvement in
people
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's health. In conclusion,
therefore
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, I strongly support the idea that
traffic
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 should be banned from
city
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 centres, as
this
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 would enable
people
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 to rediscover cities as pleasant and healthy places to live.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure arguments are logically sequenced and transitions are clear.
task achievement
Provide additional specific examples to strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the question and explores multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Precise language and relevant examples support main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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