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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Mr.benjamin is a 63 year old patient in care well hospital where you are acting as a charge nurse

#mr #benjamin #year #patient #care #charge #nurse
I am writing to refer Mr.
benjamin
Capitalize word
Benjamin
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 who has undergone total hip replacement surgery.He
requries
Correct your spelling
requires
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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 care and management .Now he is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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ready to discharge your care. Mr.
benjamin
Capitalize word
Benjamin
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 was admitted to our facility on 5
september
Change the capitalization
September
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 2009.He
was
Verb problem
had
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 undergone total hip replacement without any complication .
Post operatively
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Postoperatively
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,his
droppedto
Correct your spelling
dropped to
dropped
 71 for that 3 units RBC transfused .Now his hb
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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normal
Add an article
the normal
a normal
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 range.During
recovery
Correct article usage
the recovery
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 period
strecting
Correct your spelling
stretching
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
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given
Add a missing verb
are given
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 by physiotherapy.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
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 he is able to walk perfectly with
wheelie
Correct article usage
a wheelie
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 walker. mr.
benjamin
Capitalize word
Benjamin
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 was a widower and lived in
abrina
Change the capitalization
Abrina
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 nursing home for
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 2 years.He
was quited
Wrong verb form
quit
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 his accountant job at the age of 60.On observation ,he has no sign of dementia .He has
history
Add an article
a history
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 of osteoarthritis and blood pressure. I would highly appreciate
,
Remove the comma
apply
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if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could assist his mobility with equipment .Kindly help him to follow
Correct article usage
the
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drug regime.Encourage him to do
recommended
Correct article usage
the recommended
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 exercise to improve his mobility.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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