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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
Nowadays it is said that determination and hard struggle are the things that bring to successful development in life. Others argue that different factors like presentation and finance are
also
 important.
This
 essay will provide both sides and show the importance of determination in the job. First of all, tasks which need high education quality, diligence and persistence are the most important factors
to get
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
 a promotion
as well as
 receiving a large amount of knowledge. Working hard can attract the manager, lead to high promotions even well paid in the future.
Moreover
, persistent folk may be keen on working and exploring a lot of information in that field.
Besides
, experience in a job helps a nation have a strong ability to deal with achievement.
For example
, diligent folk can battle more effectively
as well as
 quickly than lazy ones.
On the other hand
, it is argued that capital and arrival
also
 play an important play in the job. Most businesses at communication. The main reason is that the beautify can help interaction with society be easier through reality and social media
such
 as TikTok, Facebook, ..,etc.
Furthermore
, cash will be a good tool to have many relationships that have success. Take social media as an example, Facebook is very popular with a large amount of different online businesses, everyone just needs a visual presence and spends capital on content. It can earn a lot of bills from donations of fane and amount of viewers.
According to
 my opinion, the focused community can bring success and a permanent series. Because a community with diligence have many opportunities to develop and improve knowledge and
forcein
Correct your spelling
force
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of careers. What is more, it is easier to get a wealth series. In conclusion, hard creation, determination, bill and debut are the important factors for a successful program.
However
, hard work is the best way to succeed in life.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the question in a balanced way. Develop your arguments for both views before providing your opinion, supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, both views, your opinion, and conclusion. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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