IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space designs instead of separate rooms. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#offices #open-space #designs #rooms
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, many workplaces using open-space
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of private rooms.
Although
Linking Words
open-space
Correct your spelling
open space
show examples
 can boost productivity within workplaces, I believe that lack of privacy for
workers
Use synonyms
 will bring more drawbacks for each individual. The biggest advantage of
open
Add a hyphen
open-plan
show examples
plan
Use synonyms
 workspaces is the increase in productivity within
work
Add an article
the work
a work
show examples
 team.
This
Linking Words
 is because
workers
Use synonyms
 can easily coordinate and collaborate with less awkward feelings within the workplace which leads to boost effectiveness in workload. In Indonesia
for instance
Linking Words
, in 2019 Sampoerna
whic
Correct your spelling
which
 one of the big
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in that country,
changing
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 their
offices
Use synonyms
 from private to more
open
Add a hyphen
open-plan
show examples
plan
Use synonyms
 spaces, after that development, the work effectiveness increased
20
Change preposition
by 20
show examples
%.
This
Linking Words
 data is
conducted
Verb problem
collected
show examples
 by
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 University
Singapore
Change preposition
of Singapore
show examples
. The major drawback is that open space means less privacy for each individual.
This
Linking Words
 is because open space
offices
Use synonyms
are reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 obstructed structure within
workspace
Correct article usage
the workspace
show examples
 which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 each individual to be able to see each other's activity.
Thus
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 are constricted to do private affairs and only focus on team projects.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 boundaries between
workers
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
wrong doing
Correct your spelling
wrongdoing
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because each worker can spot other belongings and easily snatch
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 without notice. Research
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the University of Australia suggests that
open
Add a hyphen
open-plan
show examples
plan
Use synonyms
offices
Use synonyms
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 risk of property loss
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
plan
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 feel more distress when engaging in those kinds of situations.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think the problem of having communal-space
offices
Use synonyms
 reduces each individual's privacy which leads to crime and
this
Linking Words
 overshadows the benefit of
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in productivity within the workplace.
Submitted by rizkyrizalzal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: