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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some countries, more and more people are becomiong interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in

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Introduction
History is becoming one of the things that
people
Use synonyms
 look into nowadays. There are growing ideas that more residents are looking into the stories of their place to live. I will discuss both the reasons and ways of
people
Use synonyms
 looking into these histories in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Body paragraph 1
Safety is one of the main factors why
people
Use synonyms
 root for their past. Family,
for example
Linking Words
, would want to know if the house they live in is safe, especially for their children.
This
Linking Words
 allows parents to go through some records to ensure that the resident is safe.
In addition
Linking Words
, a functional purpose could
also
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 be the case.
Such
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 as knowing the reasons why some parts of the building were built will give the owners an idea to utilize the spaces for the right purposes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the importance of knowing the history of a building becomes crucial
Body paragraph 2
With current technology, the internet could be the main source of historical information. In some countries, their government usually have a web portal that provides a database related to the residence area.
People
Use synonyms
 can freely look into these websites to know who the previous homeowner was. One other way is
also
Linking Words
 through a conventional approach,
such
Linking Words
 as asking around the neighbourhood who has stayed there for a long time. Through
this
Linking Words
 approach,
people
Use synonyms
 could even get more reliable information since it was coming from experience.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe history served as important
informationinformation
Correct your spelling
information information
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to ensure their safety and functionality for their living. There are several ways to get
this
Linking Words
 information,
such
Linking Words
 as a website or even a mouth-to-mouth asking the neighbour who has lived around for a long time.

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task achievement
Your introduction outlines the topic and gives a brief indication of what will be discussed, but consider making your thesis statement clearer by explicitly stating the reasons that will be covered in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
In paragraph two, the ideas are generally relevant but could be more clearly linked to the topic of history. Try to use transitions or linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, you could summarize your main points more effectively to reinforce your argument and clearly restate the importance of knowing a building’s history.
task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed example for your points about safety and functionality. Specific examples could strengthen your argument significantly.
content
You’ve introduced a relevant topic that is of interest to many people today, showcasing its significance in modern society.
content
You provided some good ideas on the sources people can use to find historical information, which adds depth to your discussion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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