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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
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Generally speaking,
information
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 is usually considered valuable by most of the
people
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. Some
people
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 often argue that sharing
information
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 as much as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world is a great idea
while
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 some believe the contrary.
Although
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 I think that some
information
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 is really important, I am strongly against the idea that certain
information
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 should not be shared freely because of its high value.
To begin
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 with, the main benefit of sharing
information
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 as widely as possible is it can support certain innovation
that is
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 beneficial for society.
For instance
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, back
then
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 when the Covid pandemic hit, a lot of researchers and experts tried to find the appropriate cure. A lot of
information
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 exchange happened during the period, leading to the creation of the vaccine
that is
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 currently used throughout the
nations
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nation
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. Without
this
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 knowledge sharing, I do not think that the development of vaccines would have succeeded. Moving on to the other perspective, I personally understand the benefit of limiting certain
information
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 to be widely shared, especially for classified
information
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. One of the drawbacks of giving away
information
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 is it can be used wrongly by irresponsible
people
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.
For example
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, scraping technology is currently available publicly on the internet which allows
people
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 to hack other
people
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's important
information
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. The misuse of
this
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 technology can lead to a financial loss which if not taken seriously might lead to a bigger issue. In conclusion,
while
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 limiting
information
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 exchange can avoid unexpected crime, I believe that sharing it widely gives more benefits than drawbacks.
Hence
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, one should not keep certain
information
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 just because it is too valuable or important.
Submitted by helma.devina on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer explanation of the opposing viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas with more supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Add a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and more precise language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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