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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many wild birds and animals live in towns and cities. Some people think that the wildlife should be protected. Some think that they should be removed. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#birds #animals #towns #cities #people #wildlife #think
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Urban life is relatively a modern phenomenon compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human existence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth.
Cities
Use synonyms
 accommodate various breeds of
animals
Use synonyms
 and birds,
along with
Linking Words
 being the cradle of human life. A
group
Use synonyms
 of people argue that they
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
 be preserved,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is best to eliminate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
wildlife
Use synonyms
. Both sides have strong arguments and I strongly side with preservation but under full control of authorities. One of the most important reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the pro-elimination
group
Use synonyms
 is human well-being and
health
Use synonyms
. Wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and birds cause
spreading
Correct article usage
the spreading
show examples
 of infections or diseases that are mutual between human and their breed. Rodents,
for instance
Linking Words
,
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 the widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plague all across the European regions
some-hundred
Correct your spelling
some hundred
show examples
 years ago, and people had to miserably remove them from their habitats. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, the
city-dwellers'
Correct your spelling
city-dwellers
health
Use synonyms
 is
under
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a serious risk of
mass
Add a missing verb
being mass
show examples
 infectious. Those who advocate the
presence
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 of
animals
Use synonyms
 in urban areas,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, have various reasons, namely moral issues, or keeping biodiversity in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of preserving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. For many, it is morally wrong to kill or harm other living creatures. They think that they have the right to live as much as
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 humans do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are a large
group
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 of people who
understands
Correct subject-verb agreement
understand
show examples
 the
importace
Correct your spelling
importance
 of keeping
wildlife
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 in the
cities
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. In fact, a healthy cycle of
wildlife
Use synonyms
 in urban regions promotes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. Take cats as an example; if they were preserved well and present in the course of
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
 plague outburst, rodents would have had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower chance of spreading the microbe. So,
pro-preservation
Add an article
the pro-preservation
a pro-preservation
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 strongly recommend
to keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 in the city. Frankly, I prefer keeping the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
 in the
cities
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, near ourselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
 their
presence
Use synonyms
. It is important to keep an eye on the number of each species and control their
health
Use synonyms
 status. Many
cities
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 Istanbul, have
health
Use synonyms
 programs for their urban dogs.
Such
Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
 make sure dogs are vaccinated or the number of wild mice in the city is limited
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can not harm human lives. Urban
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is an inseparable part of
Use synonyms
cities
Change noun form
the city's
show examples
 environment, so it is vital to take action against or for their
presence
Use synonyms
. Both campaigns have great ideas, but I think a controlled version of keeping
animals
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
presence
Replace the word
present
show examples
 is the best way to answer
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
, keeping biodiversity, and
health
Use synonyms
 issues.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

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coherence cohesion
Add more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Provide a stronger and more explicit opinion in the introduction.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread for grammar and spelling errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial roles in local ecosystems
  • controlling insect populations
  • acting as pollinators
  • aesthetic and recreational value
  • quality of life
  • educational opportunities
  • maintain biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • resilience against environmental changes
  • health risks
  • spread of diseases
  • aggressive encounters
  • endanger humans and pets
  • property damage
  • nesting in buildings
  • scavenging through garbage
  • maintenance costs
  • suitable habitats
  • suffering and poor welfare
  • relocating them to more natural settings
What to do next:
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