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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

#people #situation
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Physical health is one of the major concerns in the present time as compared to the old times. There are several reasons contributing to these factors,
however
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, there are few effective solutions available to eradicate or mitigate its effects. The rapid advancement of technology has made day-to-day activities much easier. These days, people choose private or public transportation to travel.
For example
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, even if the office or place to visit is located near a distance of approximately 15 minutes of walk, they prefer transportation facilities resulting in zero exercise. Increasing competition in today's world is another major cause leading to unhealthy and dull lifestyles. People nowadays mostly consume fast
foods
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 that are now available on their door simply by an order placement using their mobile phone, so they can spend most of their time on work or study, sitting in one corner of the room with their laptop and other necessary materials. A simple change in day-to-day activities can lead towards an energetic lifestyle.
For instance
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, using a bicycle as a means of transportation for at least short distance purposes and contributing just 10 minutes for yoga.
This
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 helps to start the day on a fresh note and receive certain exercises on a daily basis resulting positive impact in the long term.
Furthermore
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, people can cook healthy
foods
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 for the entire week on the weekends and store them in the freezer.
As a result
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, they can avoid junk
foods
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, consume healthy homemade food and invest less time, as they only need to reheat the
foods
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 and serve them hot. In conclusion, the development in the field of technology and the highly competitive environment have led to unfit and dull lifestyles.
Nevertheless
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, a basic change in daily activities
such
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 as yoga, consuming healthy
foods
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 and so on can solve the problem.
Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on

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task response
Ensure that the solutions provided directly address the causes of the problem. Make sure to present a clear and comprehensive discussion of the causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Link ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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