Many people believe that social networking sites ike Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree. sive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words
In the new millennium, it may
conceded
that advanced technology plays a vital role in our lives. Some argue that problems in communities often stem from using social media. Change the verb form
be conceded
concede
This
essay will shed light on the drawbacks of this
new trend.
To begin
with, the opponents would claim that social applications tend to be a concern. To clarify, one justification often given for this
is that decreasing the quality of communication. Hence
, the trend nowadays toward not having face-to-face talks, can destroy close-knit friendships and relations. Additionally
, this
situation has been exacerbated by addiction to the network. Thus
, individuals may not spend quality time with their families and their friends and just waste an
extreme time surfing social communities.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, although
most people would generally agree with the consequences of network use, a few can deny the benefits of that. Clearly, one factor that has led to this
is the global connection
. Needless to say, the internet
connection
is
proved to be an accessible and easy service for all users from any corner of the world. Verb problem
has
Moreover
, the burden of online business responsibility lies in the hands of the internet
services. Whereas
, numerous online careers depend on the internet
and preserve their business by online connections.
To sum up
, with regard to the foregoing paragraphs it can be stated that connection
by using the internet
may frim conviction that some benefits like global connection
may include. But it would be a grave error if we neglected the significant implications of this
new trend likewise
, reducing the quality of connection
and addiction to web services, huge disadvantages of using social media.Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on
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Task Achievement
Be clear with your stance throughout the essay. The conclusion could more explicitly state your overall viewpoint to ensure the reader is left with a clear understanding of your position on the issue.
Task Achievement
Include a wider range of examples to illustrate your points. While the essay mentions general impacts and advantages of social media, incorporating specific, real-world examples can strengthen your argument and make your ideas more relatable.
Task Achievement
Strive for a better balance between the discussion of negative and positive impacts. The essay presents both sides, but the exploration of positive impacts is less developed than that of the negative. Expanding on these would provide a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the essay's overall coherence by using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. While some are used, increased and varied use can enhance the flow of your essay.
Content
The essay effectively outlines some of the main concerns associated with social media use, such as diminishing quality of personal relationships and addiction.
Content
Good effort in trying to present a balanced view by discussing both negative impacts and benefits of social media.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example