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Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
Some people believe that raising the minimum driving
age
 is the best solution to enhance
road
safety
. I disagree with
this
 idea because I believe that other methods are equally important and should be taken into account as well. On the one hand, I agree that increasing the minimum
age
 for getting a driving licence can be an effective
road
safety
 measure.
Firstly
, since people are often more mature and have more life experience when they get older, they can make quicker and wiser decisions to avoid dangerous situations on the
road
 compared to younger drivers. My father,
for example
, will never use his phone when driving as he knows that he could easily lose his concentration and cause an accident.
Secondly
, raising the minimum driving
age
 can allow adolescents to have more time to sharpen their driving skills. They can attend defensive driving courses to learn how to deal with
different
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 driving scenarios, which will help them minimize the risk of accidents when driving in the future.
On the other hand
, I think that better
road
safety
 can be achieved by other more effective methods without increasing the driving
age
.
To begin
 with, more stringent traffic regulations should be imposed, which would act as a deterrent to would-be traffic
law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
show examples
. In Singapore, people who run red lights are fined heavily, and
therefore
this
 will make them more responsible in order to avoid future punishments.
In addition
, governments should allocate financial resources to improving public transport, which would encourage citizens to drive their private cars or motorbikes less.
As a result
, these residents will no longer worry about the risks that they may face when driving their own vehicles,
such
 as drunk driving or falling asleep at the wheel. In conclusion,
while
 raising the legal driving
age
 can make our roads safer to some extent, I believe that governments should
also
 introduce other
road
safety
 measures that are discussed above.
Submitted by ieltsexpert185 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument and refutation to strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesiveness of the essay.
lexical resource
Continue to use a range of vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Check for some errors in verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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