Some people believe that climate has the greatest affect on people's way of life. Others believe that the economy of a region has the greatest effect. This is both the views and give your opinion.

There are many things in
this
world that could the
way
of
people
’s lives.
While
some
people
argue that the
climate
is the most crucial factor to affect
people
, I side with those who feel that the economy has the greatest impact. On the one hand, it could be argued that
climate
has the greatest effect on
people
's
way
of life because of two factors.
Firstly
, the weather decides what
people
wear, what
people
eat, and what
people
do.
For instance
, during high temperatures,
people
usually drink more rather than normal.
Moreover
, if there is heavy rain or snow in the city,
people
tend to stay in their own houses.
Secondly
,
climate
change nowadays could lead to a disaster
such
as floods and by that,
people
will change their bad habits related to prevent it.
On the other hand
, I believe with those who think that the economy of a region plays a crucial influence for two main reasons.
To begin
, there is a significant difference in facilities between rich and poor areas
such
as schools, restaurants, food, and stations.
This
condition brings a variety of effects on
people
's lives
such
as the
way
they talk, the knowledge they gain, and the experiences they have. The other reason is when a region has few jobs offered, the
people
tend to do risky actions. To illustrate,
people
who have no occupation still need to fulfill their daily needs and they may do the robbery. In conclusion,
while
climate
has a certain impact on
people
's
way
of life like affecting their habits, I firmly remain convinced that the economy in a region plays the most crucial role as it forms the behaviour and their actions to survive in
this
life.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
To expand your range of specific examples, consider incorporating statistics, studies, or real-life case studies which could make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
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General
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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets out the essay's structure, clearly stating the topic and your stance, which provides a solid foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a distinct point that is relevant to your argument, helping maintain coherence.
Supported Main Points
The use of specific examples, like the influence of climate on people's daily choices and the impact of economic conditions on people's behavior, effectively supports your main points.
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