Some people believe that climate has the greatest affect on people's way of life. Others believe that the economy of a region has the greatest effect. This is both the views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many things in
this
Linking Words
world that could the
way
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
argue that the
climate
Use synonyms
is the most crucial factor to affect
people
Use synonyms
, I side with those who feel that the economy has the greatest impact. On the one hand, it could be argued that
climate
Use synonyms
has the greatest effect on
people
Use synonyms
's
way
Use synonyms
of life because of two factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the weather decides what
people
Use synonyms
wear, what
people
Use synonyms
eat, and what
people
Use synonyms
do.
For instance
Linking Words
, during high temperatures,
people
Use synonyms
usually drink more rather than normal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if there is heavy rain or snow in the city,
people
Use synonyms
tend to stay in their own houses.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
climate
Use synonyms
change nowadays could lead to a disaster
such
Linking Words
as floods and by that,
people
Use synonyms
will change their bad habits related to prevent it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe with those who think that the economy of a region plays a crucial influence for two main reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
, there is a significant difference in facilities between rich and poor areas
such
Linking Words
as schools, restaurants, food, and stations.
This
Linking Words
condition brings a variety of effects on
people
Use synonyms
's lives
such
Linking Words
as the
way
Use synonyms
they talk, the knowledge they gain, and the experiences they have. The other reason is when a region has few jobs offered, the
people
Use synonyms
tend to do risky actions. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
who have no occupation still need to fulfill their daily needs and they may do the robbery. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
climate
Use synonyms
has a certain impact on
people
Use synonyms
's
way
Use synonyms
of life like affecting their habits, I firmly remain convinced that the economy in a region plays the most crucial role as it forms the behaviour and their actions to survive in
this
Linking Words
life.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that all your ideas are clearly and directly related to the question asked. In some parts, more direct linkage to the prompt could enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
To expand your range of specific examples, consider incorporating statistics, studies, or real-life case studies which could make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words and phrases could enhance your essay's flow and coherence. This addition could seamlessly guide the reader through your ideas.
General
Remember to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos for a polished final product.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets out the essay's structure, clearly stating the topic and your stance, which provides a solid foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a distinct point that is relevant to your argument, helping maintain coherence.
Supported Main Points
The use of specific examples, like the influence of climate on people's daily choices and the impact of economic conditions on people's behavior, effectively supports your main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: