IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people say that smoking should not be banned while others say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this?

#people #idea
Smoking is popular nowadays, and
while
 some people think it should be regulated to banned, other
individuals
 are against it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both reasons with examples to get a clear understanding. On the
one
 hand, smoking should be prohibited
due to
 its negative effects.
One
 of the reasons is smoking causes
harm
 to health problems which could lead to lung-related diseases.
Moreover
,
smokers
 create undesirable problems
such
 as smoking near children or surrounding environments causing
harm
 to their loved ones and communities.
In addition
,
individuals
also
 may become addicted to smoking, and become chain
smokers
.
Therefore
, it can be clearly seen that smoking has many issues for
individuals
 and societies.
On the other hand
, smoking should be allowed it has some reasons.
One
 valid reason is if the government ban smoking, there will be an illegal market which could create crime-related problem in relation to
this
.
Moreover
, people should not forget smoking is
one
 of the human basic rights. Some opponents may protest against
this
 ban which may lead to instability.
Additionally
, the government should arrange designated smoking areas to avoid
harm
 to others
instead
 of completely prohibiting it.
This
 could solve problems between
smokers
 and non-
smokers
.
Hence
, it is worth considering allowing. In conclusion,
although
 smoking may cause
harm
 to
individuals
, authorities should consider it before implementing the law. I firmly agree that they should allow smoking with measures
such
 as allowing in certain places to prevent crime, illegal trade, and basic rights. In the near future,
smokers
 may become less as people are aware of smoking-related issues.
Submitted by kokozay on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative health effects
  • personal freedom
  • illegal trade
  • smuggling
  • regulate
  • designated
  • non-smokers
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