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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Schools should put more emphasis on sport and exercise, while others believe that schools should focus on science subjects. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The role of schools in shaping students’ futures has long been a subject of debate, particularly when it comes to balancing physical
education
Use synonyms
 with academic instruction.
While
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 some assert that sport and exercise should receive greater emphasis, others maintain that
science
Use synonyms
 subjects deserve priority
due to
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 their relevance in a modern economy. Both perspectives merit consideration. Those in favour of physical
education
Use synonyms
 argue that it contributes significantly to students’ physical health, mental well-being, and character development. Were exercise to be neglected, the likelihood of lifestyle-related illnesses and stress disorders would increase substantially.
Moreover
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, through participation in team sports, students often acquire soft skills—
such
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 as cooperation and resilience—which are difficult to cultivate in the classroom alone.
In contrast
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, supporters of
science
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-focused curricula highlight the growing demand for technical expertise. As societies become increasingly reliant on scientific and technological advancements, it is
science
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 that underpins innovation. Not only does a strong foundation in
science
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 open doors to high-paying careers, but it
also
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 equips students with critical thinking skills. Had Einstein not been scientifically educated, countless discoveries might never have occurred. From my perspective,
although
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science
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 is undeniably crucial, sidelining physical
education
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 would be a mistake. Ideally, schools ought to foster a well-rounded
education
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 wherein intellectual development is balanced with physical health and emotional intelligence. In conclusion,
while
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 scientific knowledge is vital for national progress, sport and exercise play an equally essential role in developing healthy, capable individuals. A curriculum that values both scientific endeavour and
overall
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 well-being
,
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apply
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 is more likely to produce adaptable, successful citizens.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to your main point to improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples or studies to support your arguments in the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion clearly summarizes your opinion and the main points made in the essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly defines the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which is a strong start.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good flow with clear connections between ideas, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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