we cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#world #communities #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that we cannot undertake everyone's ask for help in

this

Linking Words

world

Use synonyms

and that we are more responsible for the country we live in.

While

Linking Words

I partly agree that it is unrealistic to help people all around the

world

Use synonyms

, I believe there are still communities in need of foreigners. On the one hand, it is quite impossible to respond to every need of others, in the sense that

world

Use synonyms

is wide and thousands of requirements are even unknown.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there is

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

range of needs from financial to emotional and despite widespread news on the internet, it is more fulfilment for a person to settle the problem they see their countryman struggle with.

For example

Linking Words

, a wealthy charity from a country is less likely to donate money to earthquake victims of another country if there already were communities there suffering from scarcity.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are some occasions

that

Correct word choice

when

show examples

many people have to shoulder a moral duty to help their fellows.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are some deprived and poor regions of the

world

Use synonyms

that should not be forgotten

Change preposition

with

show examples

help from developed countries. Water scarcity, food shortage, poverty and other global difficulties

for example

Linking Words

, must be tackled globally.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are ranges of human rights that cross the boundaries and wherever they are forbidden from a community, it is the duty of every single person to become their voice and prevent them from compulsion. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

cannot

Verb problem

is not

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

possible to offer every person a hand for help, there are still situations that need to be supported by all communities.

Submitted by z.rajabi on Wed Oct 11 2023

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task achievement

The essay should clearly state the position of the writer at the beginning of the essay. It is not clear whether the writer fully agrees or disagrees with the statement.

task achievement

The writer could have provided more reasons and examples to support their position.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from more clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

lexical resource

The writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, especially when discussing different types of needs and challenges.

grammatical range accuracy

The writer should work on sentence structure and accuracy. Some sentences are unclear or have grammatical errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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we cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Fully explain your ideas

Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries face the problem of low voter turnout in their democratic elections. What are the problems associated with it and suggest solutions?

OPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child’s development as other subject, so it should be compulsory inhigh schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?