Shops are open throughout the day. Is it a positive or negative for locals and shop markets themselves?
It goes without saying that supermarkets play a crucial role in the daily life of individuals in order to make purchases more straightforward, rather than sophisticated. Nowadays,in the 21st century, a multitude of shops are open throughout the day without any stops or delays. Personally speaking,
this
tendency has versatile and multifaceted ramifications, both detrimental and beneficial.
First and foremost, it is evident that local inhabitants of cities can utilize these facilities, given by open stores. The acquisition of daily products and items, like groceries for nourishment or even painkillers can be necessary on urge. For instance
, when I have a need for diverse merchandise at night hours, I can without any hesitation go to the local supermarket and gain whenever I actually need, without taking into consideration their time schedule. In some difficult health situations, like asthma or instant pain, local shops with pills save the lives of individuals.
On the other hand
, working in stores throughout the day can have detrimental consequences, both for local inhabitants and heads of shops. Additionally
,more workforce will be hired and shopkeepers in need to provide them with currency and cash for their work, especially during the wee hours and late at night. However
, wages and salaries are not the core issue here. Moreover
, payments for facilities,like electricity,gas and water increase during the longevity of work hours.
To recapitulate , it is noticeable that despite some undeniable bad effects, benefits and convenience for local inhabitants tip the scales overwhelmingly.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and providing a balanced discussion on the issue of shops being open throughout the day. However, to improve further, you could provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points in greater detail. For instance, expanding on how increased operational hours impact shop employees' well-being or profitability in depth would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly organized into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence. While your essay has introductory and concluding paragraphs, the main body paragraphs could be more clearly delineated to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "necessary on urge" (which could be corrected to "necessary in urgent situations"). Proofreading or using grammar-check tools could help you identify and correct these errors.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and effectively outlines your stance on the topic.
logical structure
You have a logical structure with a clear line of argumentation, which helps the reader follow your ideas smoothly.
clear comprehensive ideas
You balanced the discussion by presenting both the positive and negative aspects of shops being open throughout the day, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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