Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

The
music
industry
is a great example of a moral dilemma for illegal access to arts produced by people. There are different opinions describing its
impact
on the
music
industry
. In my opinion,
such
pirate
downloads
are unacceptable, but in some cases
this
fact is inevitable. First of all, the fact of illegal
music
downloads
is simply unfair to content makers.
For example
, if there is a high percentage of pirating cases
music
producers will not get paid enough.
This
could lead to a decrease in new people in
this
industry
, young producers may think that
this
part of the arts is not perspective.
Also
, experienced creators could become discouraged because of the high percentage of illegal
downloads
because they could not get enough feedback and statistics despite the money earned.
On the other hand
, from the user's point of view, paying or subscribing to some
music
service could be a hard task and it could be easier to find free sources on the internet. Different countries have different streaming hosts and some of them are not user-friendly enough. In
this
way, people pirating
music
cannot change available services and technically they have no
impact
on artists.
in addition
, if there is a small percentage of illegal download cases, the fact someone "stole" peace of art will not be noticeable for popular artists and for the "thief" there will be no actual
impact
.
Such
thoughts could appear,
for instance
, with the lifestyle idea that everybody has the human right to touch art. Summarising all the above, there are different points of view on the
impact
of illegal internet
downloads
on the
music
industry
. In the case where part of pirating has a high level,
such
a problem could be vital to the
industry
, and have to be fixed by the community,
otherwise
, if the
overall
part of "stolen" works is low
such
phenomena could be accepted by the
industry
strictly controlled.
Submitted by i.dany24s on

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clarity
Ensure that your sentences clearly convey your thoughts. Some parts of your essay contain awkward phrasing, which may confuse readers. Try reading your essay out loud to catch any sentences that sound off.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific artists or cases where illegal downloads heavily impacted their work.
grammar and mechanics
Make sure to consistently capitalize words at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns. For example, "In addition" should be capitalized.
introduction
Your introduction successfully sets up the topic by acknowledging the moral dilemma faced by the music industry due to illegal downloads.
task response
You correctly balance the essay by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the impact of illegal downloads on the music industry.
conclusion
The conclusion provides a fair summary of the points discussed, indicating that the issue's impact depends on the scale of illegal downloading.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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