IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

you are the nurse in a community health centre.A patient you have been monitoring is moving to another city to live with his daughter

#nurse #community #health #centre #patient #city #daughter
I am writing to refer Mr Dunbar who has multiple problems and non-compliment with
diet
 and drug
regime
.He requires your continued care and encouragement .He is set to be transferred into your care as per his daughter's advice. Mr Dunbar was presented with his daughter and she informed me regarding planned with him to move
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 community area. He has been non-compliant with
diet
 and drug
regime
 after his
wife
Change noun form
wife's
show examples
 death.Previously he was educated regarding the importance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 regular medication and
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of intermittent doing
as well as
 strategies of memory aids by health
practitioner
Fix the agreement mistake
practitioners
show examples
.
However
,he is incompliant to all advice.
As a result
 ,he has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
signs of diabetic neuropathy ,poor exercise tolerance and restricted mobility.
Thus
 his
daugther
Correct your spelling
daughter
 planned
him
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for him
show examples
 to get
along with
 her family
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your community.But he resistant her advice regarding the
diet
 and medication .So she needs your help to manage her
father
Change noun form
father's
show examples
 health. Mr Dunbar is a regular drinker.He has had diabetes since 2016 and
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a history of heart problems.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
 he is prescribed
on
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apply
show examples
Metformin 500mg tds,Ramipril 5mg daily ,Warfarin variable 3-5mg and Sotolol 40mg daily. I would highly appreciate it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if you could visit him on a regular basis.kindly assist him
to follow
Change preposition
in following
show examples
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
diet
 and drug
regime
. kindly note, that his
diet
regime
 contains less salt ,sugar ,alcohol and less fatty food . If you have any queries, kindly don't hesitate to contact me.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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