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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #attention
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Our world is filled with commercials that make society purchase products,
however
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, some argue that those have become too common and ineffective in promoting things. In my opinion, many companies have learned to adapt to changing customer
behavior
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behaviour
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 and found new ways to catch folk's
attention
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. The
attention
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 span has become shorter over the years.
Therefore
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, old advertising platforms
such
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 as TV and radio no longer interest
people
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, since the
advertisements
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 are long and not interesting. In
this
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 case, I do understand why some think that we don't pay
attention
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 to promotions anymore.
Furthermore
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, a lot of ads have become similar to each other, which makes it harder for companies to compete for
attention
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, since everybody is making the same promises to
people
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.
Although
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 the
behavior
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behaviour
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 has changed,
people
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 still get influenced by the
advertisements
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 they see. Companies that are up to date, know in which platforms their target audience is spending most of the time. Social media has become one of the main ones.
For instance
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, products that are promoted by influencers are sold better than those through classical poster ads since not only do clients get the purchase
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 the lifestyle they desire. By knowing the characteristics of the audience,
advertisements
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 are, in my opinion, still relevant and are able to capture the
attention
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 of
people
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 it is true that
advertisements
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 are too common, it only applies to old methods of promoting. These days businesses that learn about their audiences' behavior, are able to conduct
such
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 ads on social media that create desirable outcomes. That's why, I do believe in the power of advertisement.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction to the topic and your stance on it.
coherence cohesion
Add topic sentences to each paragraph to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical range and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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