IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It has become very common for people to borrow money . Most of people have a credit card a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well . Is this goid idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people are convinced that it is better to purchase what they need using a
credit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 as it can help them manage their finances properly.
On the other hand
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, others say
this
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 is a risky approach as it could negatively impact consumer behaviour and would eventually lead to an economic crisis. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both of these viewpoints and the reason why I concur with the former statement. To start with, the effectiveness of loaning money to get items. Adults commonly buy products or services using
credit
Use synonyms
 cards to save their money and ensure their liquidity.
This
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 will help them to invest their cash and reach financial stability.
For example
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, if a person earns SAR 4,000 each month and spends SAR 3,000, he could invest half of his income in real estate or stock markets.
Therefore
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, the rest could be spent, and borrow SAR 1,000 from the bank.
Moreover
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, using a
credit
Use synonyms
card
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 is beneficial as there is massive competition among
credit
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card
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 issuers.
For instance
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, my bank usually encourages me to buy by their
credit
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card
Use synonyms
 as they offer either cash back or a special discount.
Therefore
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, it is a win-win deal when the
credit
Use synonyms
 is used to get items.
On the other hand
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, using debt to buy things is risky for some people. When an individual constantly borrows money to obtain a product or service, it will lead to irresponsible spending behaviour which will eventually lead to unpleasant consequences.
Moreover
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, usually, a debtor requires an interest rate,
therefore
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, if there is no plan to cover these interest rates
such
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as
Correct your spelling
an
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 investment will be a loss for a person.
Hence
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, it is important for society to avoid
credit
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 if it is not necessary. In conclusion, the goal of purchasing a product or service is to ensure liquidity.
This
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 will allow adults to invest a portion of their income to reach financial stability.
However
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, if
this
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 behaviour goes beyond the limit, it will lead to unpleasant consequences.

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Introduction & Conclusion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive. However, ensure that they fully encapsulate the essay's primary argument and summarise the key points discussed.
Logical Structure
A logical structure is somewhat evident in the essay, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Usage of linking words can assist in producing a clearer flow of arguments.
Examples
The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the main points. Provide concrete evidence or illustrative anecdotes to underscore the arguments being made. This would also help in achieving completeness in task response.
Task Response
It is necessary to develop your ideas fully, ensuring that you respond to all parts of the task. Offer a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before providing your own opinion, with thorough explanations for each.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Debt management
  • Interest rates
  • Creditworthiness
  • Loan repayment
  • Economic impact
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Consumer behavior
  • Asset acquisition
  • Credit cycle
  • Default risk
  • Liquidity
  • Financial planning
  • Credit limit
  • Down payment
  • Income-to-debt ratio
  • Repossession
  • Amortization
  • Secured/unsecured loan
  • Investment
  • Compulsive spending
  • Insolvency
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