IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It's generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Usually,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
success
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 in areas like
art
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 or sport can be only
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
person
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 who has natural
talent
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 . But some
people
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also
Linking Words
 think that every child can be an athlete or artist . In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides and give my own opinion.
People
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 argue that
success
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 in areas
such
Linking Words
 as
art
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 and
sports
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 is largely dependent on a
person
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's natural talents. They argue that some
people
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 have natural qualities that make them more likely to achieve high results. Examples include famous artists
such
Linking Words
 as Pablo Picasso or athletes
such
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 as Usain Bolt, whose unique
abilities
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 and achievements are often attributed to their natural
talent
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is the idea that anyone can achieve great
success
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 in an
art
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 or sport with preparation and education.
This
Linking Words
 idea is supported by research demonstrating that practice and hard
work
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 play a key role in achieving mastery. Examples of
success
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 of
people
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 who achieved
success
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 through constant
work
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 support
this
Linking Words
 view.
However
Linking Words
 ,in my opinion,
success
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 in areas
such
Linking Words
 as
art
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 and
sports
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 depends on both natural
talent
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 and hard
work
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.Natural
abilities
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 can give a
person
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 an initial advantage, but without hard
work
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 , these
abilities
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 may remain unrealized.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even without natural
talent
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, a
person
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 can achieve high results if he is ready to invest a lot of effort and time in developing his skills.For illustration, Leonardo Da Vinci had
talent
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, but
also
Linking Words
 he developed his skills and
abilities
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, always experimenting and learning, his works are both a natural ability and hard
work
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 . Another example on the
sports
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 side it’s Michael Jordan
in addition
Linking Words
 to his incredible physical attributes, he is
also
Linking Words
 known for his incredible
work
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 and constant
work
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 on himself. His
success
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 is the result of a combination of natural
talent
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 and hard
work
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. In conclusion, I want to say that in
this
Linking Words
 way I believe that
success
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 in
art
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 and in
sports
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 is the result of a natural ability and hard
work
Use synonyms
 .

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task achievement
While the essay has a clear structure, it can benefit from more detailed explanations and specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Discuss more varied points and ensure each idea is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. This will help to clarify your reasoning and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding the conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay. This will reinforce your arguments and provide a stronger closing statement.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction, where the topic is succinctly presented and both viewpoints are mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively restates the main opinion, providing a sense of closure to the discussion.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide examples to support the viewpoints, which helps to make the arguments more concrete.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural talent
  • innate ability
  • genetic predisposition
  • nurture
  • nurturing
  • develop
  • cultivate
  • foster
  • encourage
  • inherit
  • unravel
  • reveal
  • demonstrate
  • evidence
  • proof
  • counterargument
  • counter
  • overcome
  • compensate
  • arguably
  • debate
  • controversial
  • persuasive
  • convincing
  • conclusive
  • critical
  • essential
  • crucial
  • vital
  • significant
  • prominent
  • noteworthy
  • imperative
  • compulsory
  • fundamental
  • compelling
  • persuasive
  • support
  • favor
  • oppose
  • disagree
  • acknowledge
  • consider
  • claim
  • view
  • belief
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