IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The phenomenon of gap year between graduating from high school and entering university life is happening in several countries. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages, followed by my opinions.
According to
Linking Words
 research, young people who opt for working or travelling for a year before starting their university studies have shown some improvements in their well-being and
overall
Linking Words
 lives. Among those who choose to work, they will have more savings that could support their future studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-duration travelling will expose them to different situations than their daily lives, which could lead them to be more open-minded.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will have additional free time, which they could allocate to properly decide which university majors to take later. There are a few things that need to be noted if someone decides to take a break before starting their college programs. If someone chooses to work and they successfully gain income, their view on studying formally in an institution could be affected to a certain degree. They may think that higher education is not entirely necessary as they already
prove
Wrong verb form
proved
show examples
 that they are still able to earn money without having any degrees. Encouraging youth to do a one-year travel or work between their high school time and higher education time is commonly found in some regions all around the world. The positive effects of
this
Linking Words
 decision will essentially support them in the future
due to
Linking Words
 the higher flexibility nature provided by the gap year.
Submitted by shanniania on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: