IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a major problem. What are the causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to solve it?

#cities #world #traffic #congestion #measures
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
congestion
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 has become something that can no longer be avoided. It happened at least two times a day, especially heavier around the business district.
Congestion
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 itself causes many bad impacts from wasting
time
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, money and energy. With that note,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss what are the reasons for
congestion
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 and what can be done to solve
this
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 issue. Populations around the world have increased significantly which resulted in the increased need
Change preposition
for
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 jobs. Unfortunately, most of the
time
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, jobs are centralized in one business district which causes the need to commute from home to work and vice versa.
Although
Linking Words
 there are options to
use
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 public transport like bus, tram and train in commuting,
people
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 prefer to
use
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 their own vehicle as it is more convenient and
time
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 efficient.
Consequently
Linking Words
, more cars are on the road and congestions are expected to happen. Some
society
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societies
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 believe that expanding more roads is the
solution
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, but is it effective? Is there any other sustainable
solution
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 for
this
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 problem?
This
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 issue can be effectively solved by the government through various approaches, two of which are by making regulations and improving the city’s public
transportation
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.
For example
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, in Jakarta, there is a regulation that
people
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 can only
use
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 an odd-plate car on odd dates, particularly around business districts.
This
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solution
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 would at least reduce the number of cars on the road in half and encourage
people
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 to
use
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 public
transportation
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instead
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
solution
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 can be perfected by improving the public
transportation
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 facility & infrastructure like more stations and shorter lead
time
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, integrating all types of public
transportation
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 can be the next thing to do as it will make commuting more seamless and motivate
people
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 to
use
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 public transport as it is saving their
time
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, money and energy.
Congestion
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 can be solved in many ways starting with regulations and completed by improving public
transportation
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.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 can release regulations to reduce the number of cars on the road and integrate all types of
transportation
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 which would motivate
people
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 to
use
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 public transport.
This
Linking Words
 action has to be solved immediately to prevent any cumulative problems in the future.
Submitted by rizkyy.utama22 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific data or examples to substantiate your claims about traffic congestion causes and solutions, such as referencing specific cities or studies.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases or connectors.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the problem and what the essay will cover, which provides a good roadmap for the reader.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant specific examples, such as the regulation in Jakarta, which enhances the support for your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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