Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals argue that the government should reduce environmental issues and housing
problems
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to prevent
diseases
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. I totally agree with
this
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statement because
this
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makes
people
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healthier and allows them to live in big
areas
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in a clean environment. Reducing environmental and housing issues helps
people
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to have good health.
This
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is because the high rates of environmental
problems
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such
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as carbon dioxide lead to pollution in the air and seas. When
people
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breathe the air or eat seafood that comes from a pollutant sea their health deteriorates which sometimes causes chronic
diseases
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.
Therefore
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, reducing these issues by inventing things that help to reduce the
problems
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.
For example
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, in the USA Tesla Company invented cars to reduce gas emissions. Working on making
people
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's homes more bigger by expanding the housing
areas
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, makes individuals live in a comfortable and clean environment.
This
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is because living in overcrowded
areas
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which have many small hoses close to each other increases
people
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's illness and leads them to catch
diseases
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more easily.
Therefore
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, making big spaces allows
people
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to live in big houses and gives them the ability to add gardens which provide them with oxygen to the area which helps them to change their mood.
For instance
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, Saudi Arabia's government provides its citizens with new big
areas
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to build in which contributes to the lower rates of pollution in the country. In conclusion. some believe that the government should work hard to prevent the spread of
diseases
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in the country by reducing the
problems
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of the environment and housing which is beneficial for individuals' health and comfort.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph ends with a clear concluding sentence to strengthen the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples or statistics to further illustrate your points.
Language Accuracy
Avoid minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Introduction Clarity
The essay provides a clear introduction stating the main argument and purpose.
Supportive Examples
Each main point is supported with relevant examples, contributing to task achievement.
Conclusion Effectiveness
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key arguments of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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