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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self_employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self_employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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There are the majority of jobs in the world
people
Use synonyms
 based on their tastes
choice
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choose
show examples
 them. Some individuals would like
being
Change the verb form
to be
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 their own boss
instead
Linking Words
 of working for a company. It can be a good way to improve skills but there are some drawbacks to being self-employed. On the one hand, a lot of
people
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 claim that working for oneself is better than having a boss or working in an organization. They believe that it can help them to develop their chances and make lots of money by themselves.
For instance
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, a dress designer is able to
work
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 every time that she likes without force from others.
Also
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, all the money that she
earn
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earns
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 belongs to herself and she does not need concerned about when she does give her salary.
In addition
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, another reason that some individuals prefer to be freelance is that they cannot
work
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 with others because when they want to
work
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 and do an activity , they need to concentrate and be alone
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
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 writers, photographers which need to focus on their task and it can assist them to improve their skills.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to being self-employed.
First,
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when
people
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work
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 alone they turn into isolated
people
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 who cannot communicate with society , which can impact their personalities.
Second,
Linking Words
there is no huge success in working for oneself, because they do not have more choice to select them or there is just one idea from themselves not collections of opinions.
For example
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, when self-employed individuals decide to create one thing they need to think about a lot of
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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 but they just have their own
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 which causes
fail
Verb problem
apply
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their projects
.
Fix the infinitive
to.
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 In conclusion, it is true that some pupils like being self-employed but probably they will face some problems.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the introduction and conclusion. Ensure they clearly address the question and provide a preview and summary of the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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