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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe the present is better than the past.Some opposite that.

#people
Every person in
this
 world
chose
Wrong verb form
chooses
show examples
 which
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the best
life
 for him or her between the present and the past. It
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on their experiences. There are some humans
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that the present is better than the past.
While
 others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 disagree with that view.
Therefore
, I will write about them by giving reasons or examples to explain their own opinion and what is my opinion. The people who think that the nowadays is better than the past. One of the causes is
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 will be a conscious generation about how
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is psychological health very important to live in pleased.
In addition
, there is knowledge in all of the majors.
For example
, there are many medicines for each
diseases
Change to a singular noun
disease
show examples
, so humankind can live more than in the past.
Also
, human beings
improvedthe
Correct your spelling
improved the
improved
improve the
 technology until we are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
AI in different ways in our lives and make it easy.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation is more comfortable than in the past,
due to
 it
was taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time or months on a trip.
However
, there are some groups of individuals who maintain that the
last
 ages were better than now. First of all, their lives were completely different than these days, because old people were really friendly and kind.
Furthermore
, the environment was the cleanest and healthiest time in the world. Because of
this
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 less car use and pollution. Not only
, at
Correct determiner usage
that, at
show examples
 the moment there is a high cost of living and transportation, taxes and low salaries.
As a result
, elderly people prefer their old
life
 because of the growth of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
. But
also
, they were not fixated on the news and felt
stressd
Correct your spelling
stressed
stress
 or looked at their mobile.
Consequently
, they would do more physical exercises, sports and playing manual games. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
Although
 in the past
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 was quiet and simple, nowadays with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology
life
 is much easier and faster than in the past. In my opinion, I prefer today days
due to
 the highest quality of
producing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
medicines by using new development devices
Submitted by razanaltamimi173 on

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task achievement
Work on providing stronger and more detailed examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding on your ideas and providing more elaboration in your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Review the use of grammar and punctuation in your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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