Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The debate over the consequences of the peer pressure placed on youngsters has sparked considerable debate. In my opinion, despite the few benefits of
this
notion, its detriments are of higher significance
due to
the reasons
this
essay
further
elaborates on.
One
major negative impact of
this
phenomenon is on the youth's mentality. During
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
constant comparison they conduct between themselves and
others
, they suffer from the potential superiority of
others
. As they lack critical thinking skills and
thus
, cannot comprehend the difference between
people
's capabilities,
this
failure leads to them acknowledging themselves as "losers". With
this
feeling accumulating , they'd become more prone to mental conditions
such
as depression.
Moreover
, their inability to focus on themselves and relentlessly wanting to mimic their peers often contribute to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shattered confidence, jeopardizing their mental health
further
. Take a student as an example; who is eager to participate in football since
one
's peers are doing so, whilst not having adequate agility.
Consequently
, the student would experience tough times preparing for a field that doesn't suit his abilities, prior to pinning his self-conception on
this
failure and fostering a sense of self-doubt.
However
, there are a few positive implications of
this
pressure worth noting.
One
field in which being influenced by
others
proves beneficial is youngsters' disruptive behaviours. By looking at
others
and noticing positive behaviours of
others
are being rewarded, they'd undertake them less frequently;
therefore
, gain societal acceptance.
Furthermore
, looking at those who are of
consciencious
Correct your spelling
conscientious
personality serves as an incentive, enticing the young
people
to put efforts into achieving their milestones.
Hence
, they'd be more likely to succeed in their professional, educational, or personal lives. To illustrate, Elon Musl once reported
one
of his classmates being inspired by him and inventing a novel gadget which brought him both fortune and fame among society. Given the effectiveness of these positive implications, they come at the expense of damaging individuals' mentality and self-confidence. In conclusion,
although
the way young
people
are influenced by same-aged
people
may result in discipline and an enhanced attitude, I firmly believe it would be devastatingly detrimental to their mindset, surpassing the merits. In fact, it contributes to self-doubt, damaged confidence and proneness to numerous mental conditions, posing a threat to their well-being.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main arguments. The current introduction does not explicitly mention the two viewpoints on professionals working in their trained country vs. another country.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in the use of quotation marks. For example, use either single or double quotes, but not both interchangeably.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to illustrate your points clearly. The current example of Elon Musk's classmate is somewhat vague and could be expanded for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for achieving a high band score.
coherence cohesion
The essay uses a range of vocabulary effectively to discuss the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: