Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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The debate over the consequences of the peer pressure placed on youngsters has sparked considerable debate. In my opinion, despite the few benefits of
this
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notion, its detriments are of higher significance
due to
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the reasons
this
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essay
further
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elaborates on.
One
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major negative impact of
this
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phenomenon is on the youth's mentality. During
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the
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constant comparison they conduct between themselves and
others
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, they suffer from the potential superiority of
others
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. As they lack critical thinking skills and
thus
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, cannot comprehend the difference between
people
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's capabilities,
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failure leads to them acknowledging themselves as "losers". With
this
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feeling accumulating , they'd become more prone to mental conditions
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as depression.
Moreover
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, their inability to focus on themselves and relentlessly wanting to mimic their peers often contribute to
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apply
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shattered confidence, jeopardizing their mental health
further
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. Take a student as an example; who is eager to participate in football since
one
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's peers are doing so, whilst not having adequate agility.
Consequently
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, the student would experience tough times preparing for a field that doesn't suit his abilities, prior to pinning his self-conception on
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failure and fostering a sense of self-doubt.
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, there are a few positive implications of
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pressure worth noting.
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field in which being influenced by
others
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proves beneficial is youngsters' disruptive behaviours. By looking at
others
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and noticing positive behaviours of
others
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are being rewarded, they'd undertake them less frequently;
therefore
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, gain societal acceptance.
Furthermore
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, looking at those who are of
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conscientious
personality serves as an incentive, enticing the young
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to put efforts into achieving their milestones.
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, they'd be more likely to succeed in their professional, educational, or personal lives. To illustrate, Elon Musl once reported
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of his classmates being inspired by him and inventing a novel gadget which brought him both fortune and fame among society. Given the effectiveness of these positive implications, they come at the expense of damaging individuals' mentality and self-confidence. In conclusion,
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the way young
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are influenced by same-aged
people
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may result in discipline and an enhanced attitude, I firmly believe it would be devastatingly detrimental to their mindset, surpassing the merits. In fact, it contributes to self-doubt, damaged confidence and proneness to numerous mental conditions, posing a threat to their well-being.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main arguments. The current introduction does not explicitly mention the two viewpoints on professionals working in their trained country vs. another country.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in the use of quotation marks. For example, use either single or double quotes, but not both interchangeably.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to illustrate your points clearly. The current example of Elon Musk's classmate is somewhat vague and could be expanded for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for achieving a high band score.
coherence cohesion
The essay uses a range of vocabulary effectively to discuss the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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