We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers and what effect does it have on our lifestyle? Discuss this issue and give your opinion.

#world #influence #choices #consumers #effect #lifestyle

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Nowadays, success is defined as the

people

who can make more

money

due to

life

fulfilment. others say that

people

who contribute to

society

would be more valuable in

life

. There are both perspectives that I will elaborate more on below. On the one hand,

people

who can make more

money

are able to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs. Many purposes of

life

would be realized by more spending

money

such

as education and health. These are important aspects for

people

to have a better

life

Firstly

, Parents who send their children to excellent schools and private courses will generate a competitive individual in the future.

Secondly

, Having regular health treatment could be

Change the article

apply

show examples

beneficial for their body and prevent them from getting serious diseases;

therefore

, they are happier to run their

life

On the other hand

, contribution to

society

is more priority than having a lucrative salary. When

people

dedicate their lives to having a positive impact on

society

, they have been being successful. It is because those

people

are not only thinking about themselves but

also

have a desire to give a sense of hope.

For instance

, in remote areas, some teachers are struggling to educate

people

in the class

although

they are paid low for the profession.

However

this

moment gives hope to the families who send their children to study for a better

life

. In conclusion, having a lot of

money

can provide

people

with many opportunities in

life

However

, the important indicator is about how much positive impact to

society

that

people

can bring to create an awareness towards

society

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Oct 13 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activitiy of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?