IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local businesses. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

#countries #companies #offices #factories #businesses
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, Local businesses should be prioritized to increase
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of local
products
Use synonyms
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
This
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 approach must be followed by restricting
companies
Use synonyms
 from other countries to advance their
products
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there. I personally agree that giving more space for local
companies
Use synonyms
 would generate more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 to attract consumers
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more exposure
of
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
products
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate more on below. On the one hand, some businesses
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their income from the local consumers
due to
Linking Words
 the competitors
that is
Linking Words
 usually foreign
companies
Use synonyms
. They attempt to provide more attractive
products
Use synonyms
 that are affordable price as a strategy;
therefore
Linking Words
, the local
products
Use synonyms
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 the market which impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their revenue. If
such
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 competitors are openly given an opportunity in the country, the local brand would be neglected
from
Change preposition
by
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 the local people.
This
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also
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have
Change the verb form
has
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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significant drawbacks for the
enterpreneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
 that want to start or expand their businesses in the country.
On the other hand
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, opening a space for foreign
companies
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 could encourage innovations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. It is because the
companies
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 would come
with
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up with
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 a new idea;
thus
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, it would be a spirit for local
companies
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 to make more competitive
products
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. Not only about the innovations but the collaboration could be created among the
companies
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 to generate a fresh product to be marketed wider. In
this
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 case, people can be exposed
with
Change preposition
to
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 varied
products
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. In conclusion,
strategy
Correct article usage
a strategy
show examples
 to restrict
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
companies
Use synonyms
 would be a solution
of
Change preposition
to
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 encouraging local
products
Use synonyms
.
However
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, it seems to me that
collaborative
Correct article usage
the collaborative
show examples
 aspect should be considered to increase the value of the
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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