IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the past,
knowledge
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 was primarily confined to books.
However
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, today's digital era has enabled everyone to acquire
knowledge
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 effortlessly.
While
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this
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 digital transition presents several drawbacks, I firmly believe they are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, uploading
knowledge
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 to the Internet can be detrimental.
Firstly
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, it exposes valuable content,
such
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 as ebooks, to the risk of digital piracy, where unauthorized copies spread widely on pirate websites.
This
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 copyright infringement may cause substantial financial harm to publishers and authors, whose hard work might go uncompensated.
Secondly
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, since the Internet is rife with fabricated news, distinguishing truth from falsehood can be a challenge for readers. Exposed to false information, those who lack critical thinking skills may adopt false beliefs, which might lead to misguided decisions. Uploading
knowledge
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 on the Internet, I believe, offers substantial benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
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, everyone can access information rapidly with a simple click, significantly reducing the time and effort required. Compared to traditional library research that could take hours or even days, online
knowledge
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 offers unparalleled efficiency and accessibility.
Secondly
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, by switching to e-books and online storage, societies can reduce their reliance on paper production.
This
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 digital transition,
therefore
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, can contribute to environmental sustainability by reducing the need for logging. In conclusion,
although
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 online
knowledge
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 dissemination can negatively affect authors, publishers, and those lacking critical thinking, they are outweighed by the benefits for the general public and the environment.
However
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, it is still important to implement solutions,
such
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 as firewalls, subscriptions, fact-checking, and digital literacy, to effectively address the challenges.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure for the most part; however, it could be improved by creating smoother transitions between points and ensuring that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are framed well. The introduction sets the stage for the argument, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To enhance this component further, consider providing a more impactful final statement that echoes the central argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but there is room for development. Include more detailed, in-depth explanations or examples to strengthen the arguments. More elaboration would contribute to an overall stronger, more convincing essay.
task achievement
The response addresses the task reasonably well by examining both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. However, the essay could offer a more nuanced discussion on the complexities involved in the digitization of knowledge.
task achievement
Your essay outlines clear ideas, but to enhance clarity and comprehension, focus on developing each point further with more precision. Expand on each advantage and disadvantage by delving deeper into the causes and consequences.
task achievement
Include more targeted and detailed examples to support your arguments. These specific examples should be relevant, and they can be taken from real-world developments or credible hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning
  • Virtual libraries
  • Cyberspace
  • Search engine literacy
  • Critical evaluation skills
  • Open-source information
  • Data mining
  • Intellectual property
  • Digital preservation
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