Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With globalization,
people
Use synonyms
have to go to
work
Use synonyms
because the
cost
Use synonyms
of living is increasing and to look after their families. Some
people
Use synonyms
think it is essential to spend
time
Use synonyms
establishing a goal for a career part
while
Linking Words
others differ opinions think it is more important to spend
time
Use synonyms
with their relationships. For me, I think both of them are necessary to do together at the same
time
Use synonyms
. One of the reasons, Nowaday the economic crisis is going up is that it is hard to control the
cost
Use synonyms
of living which consists of some food, rent, or health care. It forces
people
Use synonyms
to go to
work
Use synonyms
and
work
Use synonyms
more
time
Use synonyms
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they have to pay for a living
cost
Use synonyms
every day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, They have families to look after which means it has more
cost
Use synonyms
to handle. Some
people
Use synonyms
do not go to
work
Use synonyms
overtime, it is so tiring and wastes their
relationship
Use synonyms
with their parents. It will be a bad side for
people
Use synonyms
because it is not a
work
Use synonyms
-
life
Use synonyms
balance and is unhealthy for the body in the long term.
Hence
Linking Words
, there are a lot of negative sides if we concentrate only on achieving
work
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
and forgetting our relationships.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a career part is important for some
people
Use synonyms
and the future because a job can earn a salary and power. There is a privilege for social humane to build a
relationship
Use synonyms
with other
people
Use synonyms
and access a resource as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is good learning and improves the ability to get more skills that should behave a good feeling to appreciate yourselves.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
can manage their
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
and family
time
Use synonyms
together, we can separate a meeting or hang out. It is a healthy
relationship
Use synonyms
between job and parents. So that,
people
Use synonyms
have 24 hours per day but we can handle for reasonable things but if your parents understand and encourage you and stay with you
that is
Linking Words
a good balance in your
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, developing a career goal is a necessary thing in
life
Use synonyms
and sometimes, it has to do without agreement because we are different statuses. So we can support each other to do their best way in their
life
Use synonyms
based on the situation. More authority should help their population
such
Linking Words
as good transportation, reasonable
cost
Use synonyms
of living, and
also
Linking Words
basic sanitary. It will be a healthy
relationship
Use synonyms
and balanced routine that going to be a happy
life
Use synonyms
on the planet. In my opinion, we can have a stable and balanced
life
Use synonyms
and have relationships at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cherriess_cr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and ensure a clear flow of information throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to find more precise and appropriate words for your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • strike a balance
  • ambitious
  • dedicated
  • work-life balance
  • career-oriented
  • professional success
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • contribute
  • supportive
  • cherish
  • bond
  • memorable
  • experience
  • social connections
  • commitment
  • advocate
  • sacrifice
  • juggle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: