IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In an era characterized by a relentless pursuit of personal and professional
success
Use synonyms
, a perennial debate centers around the allocation of our most precious resource:
time
Use synonyms
. Some argue that dedicating a significant portion of
one
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
 to nurturing a successful
career
Use synonyms
 is of paramount importance,
while
Linking Words
 others contend that the ultimate significance lies in nurturing bonds with family and
friends
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will comprehensively explore both perspectives before providing a nuanced opinion. On
one
Use synonyms
 side of the spectrum, proponents of focusing on
career
Use synonyms
 advancement assert that it is the linchpin of personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and societal progress. They posit that a flourishing
career
Use synonyms
 often leads to financial security and personal growth, as it enables individuals to harness their full potential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a thriving
career
Use synonyms
 can act as a catalyst for social change and innovation, benefiting not only the individual but
also
Linking Words
 the community at large. In a world that increasingly values achievement,
career
Use synonyms
success
Use synonyms
 is often equated with personal achievement.
Conversely
Linking Words
, advocates for investing
time
Use synonyms
 in family and
friends
Use synonyms
 emphasize the importance of cultivating deep and meaningful
relationships
Use synonyms
. They argue that the essence of a fulfilling
life
Use synonyms
 resides in the quality of the connections we build with our loved ones.
Time
Use synonyms
 spent with family and
friends
Use synonyms
 can provide emotional sustenance, joy, and a sense of belonging. These
relationships
Use synonyms
 form the bedrock of emotional well-being and act as a buffer against the stresses of a demanding world. From a balanced standpoint, the dichotomy between
career
Use synonyms
 and personal
relationships
Use synonyms
 is a false
one
Use synonyms
. Striking an equilibrium between these aspects is the key to a fulfilling and harmonious
life
Use synonyms
. A thriving
career
Use synonyms
 can pave the way for financial stability, personal growth, and the realization of aspirations. Simultaneously, strong personal
relationships
Use synonyms
 provide emotional sustenance, happiness, and a sense of belonging that complements professional
success
Use synonyms
. A
life
Use synonyms
 well-lived is
one
Use synonyms
 that harmonizes personal and professional spheres, acknowledging that they are not mutually exclusive but rather mutually reinforcing. In conclusion, the debate over whether to prioritize
career
Use synonyms
 development or spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family and
friends
Use synonyms
 is an enduring
one
Use synonyms
. The optimal approach lies in achieving synergy between these facets of
life
Use synonyms
. By doing so, individuals can not only achieve professional
success
Use synonyms
 and personal growth but
also
Linking Words
 maintain cherished and rewarding
relationships
Use synonyms
, resulting in a more profound and well-rounded
life
Use synonyms
. Ultimately, the pursuit of a meaningful
life
Use synonyms
 is a delicate dance that harmonizes
career
Use synonyms
 and personal
relationships
Use synonyms
, ensuring that
one
Use synonyms
 does not come at the expense of the other.
Submitted by salimmd9111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
lexical resource
Ensure the use of a variety of vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical precision and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: