Many people spent a lot money on clothes, haircut, and beauty productsto enhance their appearance. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

#people #money #clothes #haircut #beauty #productsto #appearance

Today

people

are becoming more

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

than in the past. A vast majority of individuals spend

money

to buy many things to increase their

beauty

though it has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of pros and cons.

This

essay will examine

meticulusly

Correct your spelling

meticulously

the benefits and drawbacks, presenting arguments and examples to provide a comprehensive analysis.

To begin

with, spending

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

products

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

few advantages.

Firstly

, individuals who keep

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

as smart

guy

Fix the agreement mistake

guys

show examples

in terms of outer looking often use

luxerious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

products

and they contemplate that these enhance their

beauty

Additinally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, buying these

products

contributes

Change preposition

to a

show examples

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

economic growth because there

are being continue

Wrong verb form

is continued

show examples

money

flow to the market.

For instance

people

increase their

beauty

by buying clothes, doing hair

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

, and using

beauty

products

. Ultimately, spending

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

beautification can bring peace

Change preposition

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

which helps to maintain sick free life.

Conversely

, there are

also

some disadvantages. First of all, spending

money

beauty

products

are

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show examples

all

Correct determiner usage

show examples

waste of

money

. If they give

this

money

to charity or poor family, it will bring

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

between

Change preposition

show examples

their families.

Furthermore

, many

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

profucts

Correct your spelling

products

come from abroad. So, it will decrease a

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

dollar reserve.

Consequently

, a country

face

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faces

show examples

exteme

Correct your spelling

extreme

problem

to buy

Change preposition

in buying

show examples

other necessities

due to

dollar

Correct article usage

a dollar

show examples

shortage. In conclusion,

although

spending more

money

Change preposition

show examples

fasion

Correct your spelling

fashion

has some advantages and disadvantages.

However

, individuals should be more careful when they use their

money

because it can

be brought

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

happiness to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

people

. Ultimately,

people

should contribute to the

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

society's

well-being

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

money

instead

of using

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fasionbale

Correct your spelling

fashionable

products

for their beautification.

Submitted by Abdul Asad on Sun Oct 15 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people spent a lot money on clothes, haircut, and beauty productsto enhance their appearance. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In todays world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific reasearch. do you think the advantages outweight disadvantages?

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

In the past, many male leaders had led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it were ruled by women.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Discuss both views