Many people spent a lot money on clothes, haircut, and beauty productsto enhance their appearance. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

#people #money #clothes #haircut #beauty #productsto #appearance

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Today

people

are becoming more

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

than in the past. A vast majority of individuals spend

money

to buy many things to increase their

beauty

though it has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of pros and cons.

This

essay will examine

meticulusly

Correct your spelling

meticulously

the benefits and drawbacks, presenting arguments and examples to provide a comprehensive analysis.

To begin

with, spending

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

products

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

few advantages.

Firstly

, individuals who keep

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

as smart

guy

Fix the agreement mistake

guys

show examples

in terms of outer looking often use

luxerious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

products

and they contemplate that these enhance their

beauty

Additinally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, buying these

products

contributes

Change preposition

to a

show examples

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

economic growth because there

are being continue

Wrong verb form

is continued

show examples

money

flow to the market.

For instance

people

increase their

beauty

by buying clothes, doing hair

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

, and using

beauty

products

. Ultimately, spending

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

beautification can bring peace

Change preposition

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

which helps to maintain sick free life.

Conversely

, there are

also

some disadvantages. First of all, spending

money

beauty

products

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

all

Correct determiner usage

show examples

waste of

money

. If they give

this

money

to charity or poor family, it will bring

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

between

Change preposition

show examples

their families.

Furthermore

, many

fasionable

Correct your spelling

fashionable

profucts

Correct your spelling

products

come from abroad. So, it will decrease a

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

dollar reserve.

Consequently

, a country

face

Change the verb form

faces

show examples

exteme

Correct your spelling

extreme

problem

to buy

Change preposition

in buying

show examples

other necessities

due to

dollar

Correct article usage

a dollar

show examples

shortage. In conclusion,

although

spending more

money

Change preposition

show examples

fasion

Correct your spelling

fashion

has some advantages and disadvantages.

However

, individuals should be more careful when they use their

money

because it can

be brought

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

happiness to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

people

. Ultimately,

people

should contribute to the

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

society's

well-being

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

money

instead

of using

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fasionbale

Correct your spelling

fashionable

products

for their beautification.

Submitted by Abdul Asad on Sun Oct 15 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Many people spent a lot money on clothes, haircut, and beauty productsto enhance their appearance. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree? Show ideas and vocabulary

Practice 16 Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

How can government make sure that people save enough money to live on when they are old?