IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society.

#people #robots #role #future #societies #effects #society
Technology has been developing over
time
 and
robots
 are one of the most significant signs of
this
 progress.
Accordingly
, the impact of
robots
 in the future has become challenging amongst societies. Some people are optimistic and others are more concerned. To the point of my view,
such
 another concept every informative matter has both sides, so,
robots
 as well.
However
, I tend to be more positive because the acceleration of technology is inevitable. There are some reasons why
robots
 are threats. First and most importantly, individuals
in particular
 employees feel unsafe
due to
 the possibility of replacing their position in jobs with
robots
.
For instance
, the automation system has already taken some tasks into offices.
Secondly
,
robots
 have no idea about morality,
hence
, empowering them in the long run would be perilous. To illustrate the point,
robots
 could be a hacker more without a sense of fear or justice. By the same token, they are empty of emotions, which means, over
time
 persons will struggle with more frustration.
On the other hand
,
robots
 have some absolute achievements.
Initially
, whether or not they have been growing,
subsequently
, a friendly interaction with them sounds wiser than any fight. Irrefutably,
robots
 could save humans in order of
time
 and life. As an example,
due to
 automation experts have more
time
 to be productive or relax.
Moreover
, they can drive spontaneously and reduce the risk of accidents.
However
, saving the
time
 is going to happen on a grand scale.
Such
 as an acceleration to access all the databases on the internet for research.
Additionally
, having no sentiment would be affirmative to have frank communication with them. In conclusion,
robots
 are going to be constantly prevalent, and finding a balance point in terms of their responsibility is related to the user. In fact, being lazy or being creative will occur, so, the result entirely depends on humanity and their manner of utilizing them.
Submitted by fami on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs and providing a clear progression of arguments.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points and express a clear position on the topic. Additionally, aim for providing more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Develop a wider range of vocabulary and use a more academic style of language. Aim to be more precise and varied in your word choice.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and more complex grammatical forms. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Cybernetics
  • Efficiency
  • Job displacement
  • Manual labor
  • Robotics
  • Sophisticated machinery
  • Technological advancements
  • Workplace safety
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