IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Since
science
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 has existed for a long time, it has had many positive and negative impacts on
people
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 and the environment.
While
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 some of the
people
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 criticise the detrimental effect of
science
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 upon
people
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 and nature, in my opinion,
science
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 is far more committed to achieving innovation and safety campaigns over the years. In recent years, a
science
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-based project led by the well-known entrepreneur, Elon Musk have successfully advanced the rocket launch campaign to Mars as one of the greatest achievements in human history. The fact is that he devoted himself to a certain period of time to find the solution. Even though many
people
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 have criticised his works, he finds the Mars planet as there are many rare, resourceful and sustainable materials which can greatly benefit the Earth.
As a result
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, many
people
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 support his works because of his long-term vision for
people
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’s
lives
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 and the environment. Another example is that Artificial Intelligence (AI) is integrated with scientific processes.
Due to
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 the
AI
Correct word choice
constant AI
show examples
 advancement is constantly improving ,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is better to make
people
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's
lives
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 easier and more comfortable. Whether in professional or personal
lives
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, AI has been
such
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 an amazing tool and has reduced the massive amount of time compared to manual work.
Consequently
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,
science
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 is vital for providing not only for daily
lives
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 but
also
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 for minimising the unnecessary repetitive tasks that can be replaced with AI. In conclusion,
although
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 some claim that scientific work can be harmful to Mother Nature, I believe that creativity and security should be prioritised when pursuing new developments.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree in the first paragraph, and keep this same idea in all body parts.
task response
Your ideas are good, but some parts do not fully explain why science should improve people's lives. Link each example back to this point more clearly.
task response
Use examples that fit the question in a more direct way. The Mars example is interesting, but it does not clearly show how science improves life now.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. To make it better, make each body paragraph follow one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar is not clear. Shorter sentences will help your meaning stay clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, such as 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'. Do not overuse long phrases.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which helps your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are separated well, and this makes the essay easier to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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