IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE RESULT OF A SURVEY ABOUT PEOPLE'S COFFEE AND TEA BUYING AND DRINKING HABITS IN FIVE AUSTRAKIAN CITIES.

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE RESULT OF A SURVEY ABOUT PEOPLE'S COFFEE AND TEA BUYING AND DRINKING HABITS IN FIVE AUSTRAKIAN CITIES.
#survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #austrakian #cities
The bar chart represents the data on hot drink
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 and purchasing habits of five
city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
 in Australia
that is
 collected by a survey.
According to
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
, the proportion of people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a
coffee
 shop
for drinking
Change preposition
to drink
show examples
coffee
 or tea
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 4
weeks
 is the highest in all cities,
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 in Adelaide.
Moreover
, the ratio of bought instant
coffee
 exhibits relatively higher proportions than the percentages of fresh
coffee
 purchasing
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
. The three major
coffee
 and
tea consuming
Add a hyphen
tea-consuming
show examples
 cities in terms of the survey results are Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart, with approximately 60% of the population
consumed
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 their beverages at
coffee
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 in the period of 4
weeks
.
While
 in Sydney and Melbourne around 40% to 50% of the population bought instant or fresh
coffee
 throughout the period, the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these ratios
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more than 10% with instant
coffee
 dominance in Hobart. The remaining two countries demonstrate slightly lower proportions of consumption, specifically for the fresh
coffee
 buying habit with nearly 30%.
Furthermore
, Adelaide has the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
for go
Change preposition
of going
show examples
 to a cafe
for consuming
Change preposition
to consume
show examples
coffee
 or tea in the
last
 4
weeks
, with just below 40%.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, weeks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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