Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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It has become popular for the young to not pursue tertiary education, but to start work-based training
instead
.
Although
this
may have some advantages, in my opinion, not getting a
university
degree
has some significant disadvantages
Rephrase
apply
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instead
. Vocational training increases
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
quality of life. Compared to students' tight
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
, a person with work-based training is able to become financially independent faster in life,
thus
, moving out from their parents sooner. They are able to start their career
form
Correct your spelling
from
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an earlier age
and
Correct word choice
apply
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gain knowledge from the workplace and become a professional in their field through years of practice. Some of the young people learn better
this
way
instead
of by reading. These factors are important to consider,
however
, I do think the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of possibilities the
university
degree
can bring clearly outweighs them. Some people may think that getting a
university
degree
is a waste of time
,
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apply
show examples
since it does not offer practical skills
besides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic ones.
On the contrary
, I do think that by developing analytical and critical thinking, it is possible to pursue higher positions at work in the future by understanding complex structures and being able to read academic articles related to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
trends in the field.
In addition
, academic years offer endless possibilities to socialize, create friendships and most importantly,
to
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apply
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network. Young people will miss
this
all out when choosing alternative training.
To conclude
, it's evident that
by
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apply
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pursuing
on-the-job-training
Correct your spelling
on-the-job training
show examples
will create economic independence for a person faster in life,
however
, by getting a
university
degree
it's possible to go
further
careerwise.
Therefore
, I do think that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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of not getting
an
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apply
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academic knowledge
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
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the advantages that alternative training may provide.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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task achievement
Expand on the advantages and disadvantages of work-based training in more detail to provide a more thorough analysis.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the introduction and conclusion to make them more engaging and impactful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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