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Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #people #enrol #university #situation
It has become popular for the young to not pursue tertiary education, but to start work-based training
instead
.
Although
this
 may have some advantages, in my opinion, not getting a university degree has more significant disadvantages. Vocational training increases a person's quality of life. Compared to students' tight budgets, a person with work-based training is able to become financially independent faster in life,
thus
, moving out from their parents sooner. They are able to start their career from an earlier age gaining knowledge from the workplace and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a professional in their field through years of practice. Some of the young people learn better
this
 way
instead
 of by reading. These factors are important to consider,
however
, I do think the number of possibilities the educational institution can bring clearly outweighs them. Some people may think that getting
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 academic degree is a waste of time since it does not offer practical skills
besides
 academic ones.
On the contrary
, I do think that by developing analytical and critical thinking, it is possible to pursue higher positions at work in the future by understanding complex structures and being able to read academic articles related to the latest trends in the field.
In addition
, academic years offer endless possibilities to socialize, create friendships and most importantly, network. Young people will miss
this
 all out when choosing alternative training.
To conclude
, it's evident that pursuing on-the-job training will create economic independence for a person faster in life,
however
, by getting a degree it's possible to go
further
 careerwise.
Therefore
, I do think that the disadvantages of not getting academic knowledge outweigh the advantages that alternative training may provide.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your ideas and provide more detailed explanations.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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