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Band 3

Should companies and business owners these days act only for money, or should they also care about society? What do you say about it, give examples.

#companies #business #owners #act #money #care #society
in today's budding age, plenty
Change preposition
of business
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and factories
don't should
Remove the verb
shouldn't
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 pay attention to only making money.
Although
 I agree with
this
 opinion, I cannot deny the responsibility for society.
that is
 why, they
also
 should
in
Add a missing verb
be in
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 charge of social responsibilities. In fact, when any type of organization only
will focus
Wrong verb form
focuses
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 on earning money,
this
 businesslike manner
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 not bad. So
this
 style has many advantages for
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 and factories. The large amount making money
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 which is enough income. We can say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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businesses can be able to sufficient profit when they have
efficient
Add an article
an efficient
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 plan for growing.
Such
 as, many support the view that, always dominant organizations can
pay
Rephrase
always pay
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heigh
Correct your spelling
high
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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for
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to
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 employees.
Hence
, speaking personally, companies that can cover their own needs and organizations with large investments can provide social assistance.
On the other hand
, companies shouldn't run only come in profit because its place
play
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plays
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big
Correct article usage
a big
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 role model in society.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
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also
 responsible for social responsibilities. How they can help the community.
First,
this
 should begin inside the company. If Proprietors and managers will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good treatment with staffers, affection appears among employees and employers. It's commitment too.
Besides
,
charity
Add an article
a charity
the charity
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 for poor people and
invest
Replace the word
investment
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for
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in
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 nature protection
also
 are helping
for
Change preposition
apply
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society, which,
one
Add a missing verb
is one
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 of
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 ways.
Example
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For example
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, organizations can be more popular by alms and donations.
In addition
, to my way of thinking, when every business
will work
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 through the ideas listed above, only
then
 can they achieve their goal.
Submitted by muxlisa0505m on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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