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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
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Development of countries with different paces results in immigration and a person who leaves his own
country
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 has to struggle with
people
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 who speak a foreign
language
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, which can be a milestone in his life and cause acute problems in his social relations.
Although
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 some
people
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 can adapt themselves to every situation, I do subscribe to the idea that living in a foreign
country
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 may seriously affect
people
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’s lives, especially in making
friends
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 and finding an occupation, which will be
further
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 discussed.
Firstly
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, we need
friends
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 to speak, have fun, love, and be loved, but it is hard for us to make strong friendships with foreign
people
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. Studies proved that
people
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 who live in a foreign
country
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 are more alone and the number of their
friends
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 is much less.
Language
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 is an important part of a
country
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’s
culture
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, and difference in
language
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 means difference in
culture
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. Similarities between two
people
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 is the main factor in forming a friendship, and without similarity in
culture
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, it is less likely to make
friends
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.
Hence
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, making new
friends
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 may be an issue for
people
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 who live in a foreign
country
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.
In addition
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, in order to pay the costs of living, it is necessary to find an appropriate job, and
this
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 could be difficult if you are not living in a
country
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 where your mother
language
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 is spoken. Companies and institutes tend not to face problems, and they prefer to develop their business easily, so domestic
people
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 who can speak and communicate easily are prior than immigrants.
On the other hand
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, the difference in
culture
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 which was mentioned can be a factor which makes the domestic
people
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 more suitable.
Thus
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, finding a job for an immigrant would be very competitive and considered an issue.
To conclude
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, making
friends
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 and finding an occupation may be socially annoying for an immigrant, and I believe that living in a foreign
country
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 is a challenge in which you may be hurt. Eventually, some other experiences may occur, and they may be worth tolerating these problems.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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task achievement
The essay should clearly state the position of the writer; whether they agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points need more development and support with examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and provide supporting details.
lexical resource
The essay needs to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
There are a few grammar errors that need to be corrected.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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