in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, many
people
are aiming to buy their own
house
instead
of living in a rented one. In
this
essay, I will mention a possible motive behind
this
action.
Also
, I will explain why it might be considered a negative situation. The desire to purchase a
house
in most
people
is driven by what is called the success scale. Currently, in order to be entitled as a successful person, you have to own a
house
, maybe two, a car, and have a great sum of money in your bank account.
In other words
, the more possessions you have, the more successful you will be.
This
concept and narrow definition of success create some kind of social pressure on
people
that pushes them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
these new standards and prove themselves as wealthy successful
people
. Buying a
house
at first look seems like a dream come true, but I believe that it carries some hidden downsides. Regarding work and study, the fact that being tied to a certain place after buying a home and settling on it might narrow the chances of getting good job opportunities or might miss an excellent university programme providing that sometimes commuting is not a practical and convenient solution for a long time.
Additionally
, unfortunately, some
people
seek some illegal ways
such
as bribery to collect more money in a few time to be financially able to buy a
house
.
This
will result in a deterioration or even complete absence in the moral values of the
people
. In conclusion, owning a
house
is becoming a dream for many
people
because of the effect of the
mis leading
Correct your spelling
misleading
show examples
concept of success,
as a result
,
people
may miss great jobs and study offers or become victims of their greed.
Submitted by rereosama.ih on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more explicitly stated for a stronger overall structure.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more relevant specific examples and develop the ideas further to achieve a more comprehensive response to the task.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: