in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

Nowadays, many

people

are aiming to buy their own

house

instead

of living in a rented one. In

this

essay, I will mention a possible motive behind

this

action.

Also

, I will explain why it might be considered a negative situation. The desire to purchase a

house

in most

people

is driven by what is called the success scale. Currently, in order to be entitled as a successful person, you have to own a

house

, maybe two, a car, and have a great sum of money in your bank account.

In other words

, the more possessions you have, the more successful you will be.

This

concept and narrow definition of success create some kind of social pressure on

people

that pushes them to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

these new standards and prove themselves as wealthy successful

people

. Buying a

house

at first look seems like a dream come true, but I believe that it carries some hidden downsides. Regarding work and study, the fact that being tied to a certain place after buying a home and settling on it might narrow the chances of getting good job opportunities or might miss an excellent university programme providing that sometimes commuting is not a practical and convenient solution for a long time.

Additionally

, unfortunately, some

people

seek some illegal ways

such

as bribery to collect more money in a few time to be financially able to buy a

house

This

will result in a deterioration or even complete absence in the moral values of the

people

. In conclusion, owning a

house

is becoming a dream for many

people

because of the effect of the

mis leading

Correct your spelling

misleading

show examples

concept of success,

as a result

people

may miss great jobs and study offers or become victims of their greed.

Submitted by rereosama.ih on Wed Oct 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more explicitly stated for a stronger overall structure.

task achievement

Make sure to provide more relevant specific examples and develop the ideas further to achieve a more comprehensive response to the task.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

today, students can benefits from widers information through internet. some people think that tradition schooling disappear soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more negative of positive effects on society?

In some countries worldwide, men and women have children at a later age than in the past. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?