The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
diagram represents the manufacturing
process
for making
sugar
from
sugarcane
.There are some methods involved in
this
process
.
Overall
,
sugarcane
is
Change the verb form
is processed
show examples
process
to produce
sugar
through various steps. In detail, the manufacturing
process
involve
Change the verb form
involves
show examples
seven steps.They are growing, harvesting, crushing, purifying juice,
evaporator
Replace the word
evaporating
show examples
,
centrifuge
Wrong verb form
centrifuging
show examples
and drying and cooling. The first step in
this
process
is growing
sugarcane
within 12-18 months.
Sugarcane
is grown with proper water and
nutrients
Change the noun form
nutrient
show examples
content in the soil.The second is harvesting
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is done with two methods one is
manually
Change the word
manual
show examples
and another is
mechinal
Correct your spelling
mechanical
harvesting. Harvesting is done after
18months
Correct your spelling
18 months
of cultivation. Manual harvesting takes
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
complete
Fix the infinitive
to complete
show examples
the work
whereas
mechinal harvesting takes
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
time to complete the work
with
Change preposition
within
show examples
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
period.After harvesting
sugarcane
is put into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
process
called crushing,
after
this
method it
converted
Add a missing verb
is converted
show examples
into juice. The fourth step in
this
process
is purifying juice using
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter. And
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
next,
it gets heated and vapour is evaporated and it turns into syrup.
Centrifuge
Add an article
A centrifuge
The centrifuge
show examples
is the sixth step
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means it separates
sugar
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
crystals from
syrup
Add an article
the syrup
show examples
. The
last
process
is drying and cooling and
then
sugar
is ready.
Thee
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
seven methods
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a vital role in the manufacturing
process
for making
sugar
from
sugarcane
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, sugarcane with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: