IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Do you think if the government should limit the freedome of the media?

#government #limit #freedome #media
The level of state
control
 over
media
 is a controversial debate.
While
, there are countries where television and radio channels, newspapers, and news websites are either state-owned or the government has unlimited
control
 over, there are others that the
freedom
 of
speech
 is granted as a basic human
rights
Correct the article-noun agreement
right
show examples
. I believe that unless an entity expresses hate
speech
 or criminal content, it should be completely free to publish whatever it wants. First of all, an open space for
media
 outlets
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them naturally
control
 each other. Just like the nature of
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
 market, where the market sustains itself by supply and demand, the
freedom
 of
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 market automatically turns into a controller space.
For instance
, CNN, a television news channel leaning towards the United
States'
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 Democratic Party,
factchecks
Correct your spelling
fact-checks
fact checks
FoxNews's
Correct your spelling
Fox News's
show examples
 stories, and vice versa. In case where one of these two publishes something untrue, the other channel, because of political rivalry, immediately tells the truth. So,
this
 automatic
control
 process eliminates the need for
further
control
 by governments.
Furthermore
, the unlimited benevolent state
control
 over
media
 turns into a malignant dictatorship. In fact, every entity with
unlimited
Add an article
an unlimited
show examples
 source of power could easily turn into a dictator. Not only is government
control
 a threat to the
freedom
 of
speech
, but it would make them the
loud speakers
Correct your spelling
loudspeakers
show examples
 of dictators' propaganda. In the Democratic Republic of Korea, famously known as North Korea, the government has the strictest
control
 over whatever people can watch, listen, or read.
Unsurprisinly
Correct your spelling
Unsurprisingly
, the DPRK is the most famous dictatorship in the world. Simply, I think there cannot be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
control
, without the risk of dictatorship. In conclusion, the
freedom
 of
media
 should be granted for several reasons.
First,
it is the
freedom
 of
speech
 that saves and controls the truth-telling, and
second,
a power with good will
turn
Wrong verb form
turns
show examples
 into a power with malignant intentions if it gains
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unlimited
control
.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider providing counterarguments or addressing potential limitations of your argument.
lexical resource
Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures for a more diverse and engaging essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: