IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph and chart below give information about species extinctions and the threats to plant life.

the graph and chart below give information about species extinctions and the threats to plant life.
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The line chart provides information about the
species
Use synonyms
 of plants and animals that are extinct in the tropical forest. Whilst, the pie chart gives data about the different threats to
plant
Use synonyms
 life.
Although
Linking Words
 the
species
Use synonyms
 that no longer existed rose significantly until 2060, the trend after that tended to decline remarkably.
In addition
Linking Words
, human intervention poses a more serious threat compared to those caused by nature. As presented in the first graph, the data of
plant
Use synonyms
 and animal extinctions from 2000 are increasing sharply, and are projected to continue to soar until the dying out
species
Use synonyms
 levels will peak in 2060 with figures reaching 50,000 extinctions per million
species
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after the
species
Use synonyms
 in the tropical forests hit the highest point they are noticeably reduced to under 30,000 extinctions per million
species
Use synonyms
 by the end of
this
Linking Words
 century. Turning to the second chart, there are two causes threatening
plant
Use synonyms
 life (human impact and natural events) and it can be seen that the risks to
plant
Use synonyms
 life are mostly from humans, with the proportion
for
Change preposition
apply
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slightly over
four fifths
Add a hyphen
four-fifths
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. There are three major factors which are causing
this
Linking Words
 problem : agriculture with the largest ratio
18.7
Change preposition
of 18.7
show examples
 percent, harvesting (14.4%), and development with the smaller amount of 10.4 percent.
By contrast
Linking Words
, natural events,
such
Linking Words
 as natural disasters and other natural events have a quite smaller effect on the lives of the plants, with the proportion for almost a fifth.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words species, plant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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