IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
Some folks believe that the issues of traffic congestion and environmental pollution can be overcome by raising the cost of fuel.I totally disagree with
this
arguement
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argument
 because vehicle owners are generally rich people and can manage
the
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their
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 finances.These problems can
however
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, however
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, be addressed by improving the road infrastructure, limiting private cars and using alternate sources of energy.
To begin
 with, the increasing number of automobiles on roads is attributed to
increased
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the increased
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 buying power of
masses
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the masses
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.If they can afford luxurious cars,
than
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then
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 the price of petrol will not be a problem for them.These days, every household has two to three vehicles of their own which are a source of traffic jams and polluted air.In Lahore city, the worst smog was seen
last
 year
due to
 fossil fuel consumption mostly
due to
 the exhaust of gas-guzzlers.
Moreover
, the increase in tax on lubricants will add to the woes of the working class travelling on public transport who are already facing
financial
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a financial
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 crisis.
For instance
, most of the daily wagers on the
the
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apply
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outskirts of
karachi
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Karachi
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 moving to
city
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the city
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 centre have average daily earnings of 800 rupees.Charging them extra fare means they will be more hard-pressed
in feeding
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to feed
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 their families.
On the other hand
, there are many viable options to address the challenges.
Firstly
, the governments should invest more
on
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in
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 the replacements of fossil fuels.
By introducing
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Introducing
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electrical
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electric
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 cars and
solar- powered
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solar-powered
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 batteries for running these machines can help a great deal in reducing the polluted atmosphere.In Japan ,officials are planning to introduce robotic appliances next year on the
express ways
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expressways
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 for achieving the purpose of
clean
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a clean
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 environment.
Secondly
, better road networks can lessen the
bottle-necks
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bottlenecks
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 on various lanes.To illustrate
this
, when the
punjab
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Punjab
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 highway authority in Pakistan constructed overhead bridges and U-turns at regular distances in 2020, the congestion on highways was reduced significantly.
Finally
, restricting the personal automobiles in downtown areas can decrease the exhaust fumes.Orange train in the city of Lahore has been very instrumental
to lessen
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in lessening
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 the adverse effects of fuel combustion on the climate. In conclusion, I think that in order to tackle the worries of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution and the rush on streets, renewable energy and improved transport
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 should be the focus of countries rather than embarking on the vicious cycle of raising the petrol prices.
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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Introduction
Your introduction clearly sets the premise for the disagreement with the given argument, establishing a solid foundation.
Content Development
Make sure to evenly distribute your arguments throughout the essay for more balanced development of ideas.
Sentence Structure
Incorporating a wider range of complex sentence structures can enhance coherence and provide more nuanced arguments.
Evidence Enhancement
To further improve, try to integrate data or statistics that specifically support your examples and statements, adding credibility.
Transitions
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with cohesive devices, making your argument flow more naturally.
Grammar and Spelling
Consider revising for minor spelling or grammatical errors to polish the essay's overall clarity and readability.
Task Achievement
You've provided a good range of solutions to the problem, demonstrating comprehensive thinking.
Specific Examples
Very good use of relevant examples and specifics to argue your points, strengthening your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summaries the essay's main arguments, reinforcing your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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